Suburban Rabbit Huntin' Blues

Bea ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Huntin' all the time.
No, she ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Huntin' all the time.
Last night she almost caught a rabbit
Which wouldn't have been too fine.

Cause when a dachsie gets a rabbit
You know its a real big mess.
Yes when a dachsie gets a rabbit
It's a real big mess
She'd proudly bring it back to El Jefe
Who'd have to clean it up, no less.

Bea's a suburban hound dog,
But she's huntin' all the time.
Quail, birds, mice and rabbits
You know she's huntin' y'all the time.
She may get a rabbit yet
I'm givin' you this warning sign.

~harmonica riff~

Better Living Through Government Blues

~harmonica riff~

We-e-ll, I went down to the Home Depot
But no good floodlights could I find.
You know I went down to the Home Depot
And no good floodlights could I find.
The fluorescent ones I bought are way too dim
And El Jefe thinks he's loosing his mind.

I've got to tell you all, I've got to spread the news!
We're stuck with the bad ones and are singing
the Better Living Through Government Blues.
Oh, yes we are.

The good old floodlights worked just great,
The new ones not at all.
The den is dimly lit
You know we can't see in the hall.
The clerk said the g'vment makes them sell the worthless ones to us
So don't bother Home Depot by tryin' to make a fuss.

I've got to tell you all, I've got to spread the news!
We're stuck with the bad ones and are singing
the Better Living Through Government Blues.
Oh, yes we are.

~harmonica riff~

The Premature Tannenbaum Blues

~cue harmonica riff~


Well you know I went down to the Barnes and Noble
Killin' time before a meeting
When what to my wondering eyes
Should I find that I am seeing?
Christmas tinsel and banners and mistletoe
Were mixed with witches and jack o'lanterns
Cause don't ya know Halloween was only yesterday
And the clerks haven't time to put them away

Its too early for Noel and Jingle Bells too
Givin' me them dirty ol' premature tannenbaum blues.

~guitar riff~

Well it seems they just can't wait to start the Holiday season
I won't say "Christmas" cause they are ignoring the real reason
Its enough to try the patience of a saint
Which you all know I ain't

Cause its too doggone bad when merchants want to confuse
You and rush you and push stuff that no one can use
Guess they just want to cut out the one holiday
When families gather together to give thanks and pray
Thanksgiving may be a day we 'll loose
If we don't fight those premature tannenbaum blues.

~wailing harmonica~