Friday, August 26, 2005

Say It Isn't So, St. Peter

I'm tootling down Interstate 10 to Orange happily singing along with my new "Favorite Hymns" CD . Okay, so that's dorkish. But I bought them recently when I was in a funk about the quality of the praise songs in the contemporary services I've had to attend recently, afraid that the classic hymns were about to become never-used antiques. Anyway, as I was saying, I was rolling along when suddenly the cellphone rang.

"Mom, Dad called me PLUMP!" quoth Babs.
"He said I was 'a bit plump', do YOU think I'm plump?"

I know the right answer to this, even if El Jefe doesn't--"No."
"DAD--Mom says I'm not plump!"
(inaudible hollering back and forth).

Finally since I'm trying to drive, I say "Did you ASK him if he thought you were fat?"
I wasn't born yesterday, you see.
"Well, then, what do you expect? You gave him a chance to get your goat."

Babs knows her dad is a big tease.
"HUMPH!" quoth Babs.

"Can I help you with anything else?"
"Okay, bye, I'll call when I get to Orange."

Sigh. Sometimes I think that most women's idea of Heaven would be to appear at the pearly gates and be greeted by St. Peter saying "Welcome! And you're NOT FAT!"


Songbird said...

Does this angelic robe make my butt look big?

St. Casserole said...

Oh, yeah. Health concerns aside, our perceptions of ourselves are messed up. The ideal is impossible. I think we all look lovely. Really beautiful.

John said...

In heaven, eating chocolate sheds pounds.

rev-ed said...

Real women have curves.

John said...

That's true, Ed. That line works brilliantly in bars.

Lorna said...

we get a new name in heaven... and prob one size fits all robes too.

and as for your butt.... oops!

be blessed