(With spring approaching, this email making the rounds was too timely not to share. Hat Tip to my friend PJ.)As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.
I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they are actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $35 and worth EVERY penny).
I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.
FRIDAY UPDATE: QG walked the walk and had a pedicure this morning. HOT WAX is highly recommended! Result: happy, happy tootsies!!
FRIDAY UPDATE: QG walked the walk and had a pedicure this morning. HOT WAX is highly recommended! Result: happy, happy tootsies!!
11 comments:
IW.
That is about the grossest thing I have seen on the internets in a very long time.
Keep up the good work preaching that open-toe gospel! Your cute girl sisters appreciate it
Makin' my pedicure appointment right now.
Ewww! I'm glad I already have a pedicure scheduled!
I stand with you in the Pledge.
Note to self - skip this blog until that picture falls a LOT farther down the page.
OH! MAN! What Mark said...
How appropriate in this season of foot-washing.
You have done the culture a huge service here on the cusp of sandal weather (at least in these parts.)
I will take the pledge also.
Very funny!
ouch... I've never been for a pedicure ...and need someone to come with me cos those kind of places make me so nervous!!! Any volunteers???
(But in self defence I soak and pamper my feet at least twice a week -usually in front of the TV so my feet don't look quite that bad - though I don't look at them from the back!)
I wanted to hand the pledge to someone this morning in a coffee shop. Love hot wax.
This picture gives me the heebie jeebies!
Another couple of rules from my Tucson Days:
I will not be a Birkenschmuck and wear ragg wool socks (or any socks) with my sandals. It just ain't cool.
I will rinse out and soak my Tevas in soap and water once in a while. The smell of old sweat on Tevas is enough to make you admire Jesus for washing the disciples feet; and to realize why they needed it so badly.
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