Tuesday, December 30, 2008

My Year(s) in Presbytery Land


As 2008 draws to a close, so does my two year stint as Moderator Elect and Moderator of Presbytery of New Covenant. Both years were demanding in different ways.

As Moderator Elect I had many more meetings to attend and preside over since I chaired General Council --and we also had to solve the Million Dollar Problem. As Moderator I only chaired 5 presbytery meetings and had fewer committee obligations. However me and my trusty SUV logged in many miles presiding over ordinations and installations around our large geographical area.

The experience has been quite a ride. Just a few weeks after agreeing to serve as the 2008 Moderator, the "Million Dollar Problem" was revealed. This doubled and tripled the number of meetings required to address the problem, which ultimately was resolved through the faithful work of many people. Today PNC is well on its way to repaying GA for the special offering funds that were diverted and the presbytery's accounting and auditing procedures have been overhauled and brought up to professional standards.

PNC is almost uniquely blessed in its location in an area of the country that is growing in population and still has one of the strongest economies in the nation, despite the lower price of oil and the devastation wrought by Hurricane Ike this fall. Many volunteers and much effort is being put into rebuilding Galveston and the other areas just east of Houston that were destroyed by that storm.

PNC is dedicated to new church development with more NCD's than any other presbytery. During my year as moderator, three NCD's received full charters as churches in the PCUSA. One was a traditional suburban church plant and two others were ethnic churches--Vietnamese and Filipino. Presiding over the charter services was the highlight of this year!

PNC is also blessed because there is an atmosphere of collegiality and respect that transcends differences of opinion on the PresbyIssues of the day. Much of this can be attributed to the leadership provided by our very pastoral General Presbyter, Rev. Mike Cole, our associate GP's Rev. Wendy Bailey and Mary Marcotte (a certified DCE) and the small but dedicated presbytery staff. I have to also make a special acknowledgement of the best Stated Clerk in all of PresbyLand, Rev. Diane Prevary, whose advice and advance preparation were invaluable to me at presbytery meetings. .

We're not immune to the tempests tossing the denomination, however. One church departed the denomination for the EPC this year, leaving a smaller congregation and their property behind in the process, and another filed a lawsuit against the presbytery and GA asking the court to declare the trust clause of the BOO invalid in Texas. Other sessions have expressed grave concerns about the direction of the denomination after the last General Assembly meeting. There are as many challenges ahead for PNC as there are for any other presbytery in the country. Fortunately, the Rev. Wayne Eberly, our new Moderator, is uniquely gifted to serve in this role in 2009.

In PNC, the moderator has only one duty in the post-moderator year: to assist in making nominations to the Nominating Committee. As the year came to a close and I was starting to think about what to do with all the "free" time I was about to gain with stepping down, I got a call from the Nominating Committee at my church asking me to go on session and take on a major administrative assignment.

Now I know that the gifts of the Spirit include administration, but somehow that never seems like a "real" work of ministry, does it? Not like preaching, teaching, and pastoral care. It wasn't what I thought about doing--but it seems to be what God is calling me to do. I should be old enough not to be surprised by God, but...it still happens.

So although I am profoundly grateful for the opportunity to serve the presbytery these last two years, I'm happily returning to service in my home congregation.

I will continue to blog about things Presbyterian and things Not Presbyterian in my continuing search for grace in everyday life. My first article for the "Best of the Blogs" column in Presbyterians Today appears in the January/February issue -- and is available on the online version here.

Now that I no longer have an official position with the presbytery, I will be free to express my opinions on whatever goes on in the denomination without concern that my opinions will be confused with any official position of PNC.

Yes, QG, there IS life after presbytery!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Adventures in Family Land

We've been immersed in Family Land for the past week, just the same as many of you.

Here are some random highlights from the week:
  • On Christmas Eve as the pastor read from Matthew the story of the 3 Wise Men bringing "treasures" of gold, etc to the baby Jesus, the littlest member of the family (aged almost 3) looked up from the coloring in her lap and eclaimed "Treasures? Gold? OOOOO!"
  • Cleanup after Christmas Day's dinner for 25 was accomplished under the capable direction of my niece Txbelle and St. Betty's daughter, The Defender. Muchas gracias, damas!
  • Portia's SIL turned out to be an excellent cook, contributing great side dishes and coffee cake to the menus for the week.
  • Having the aforementioned almost 3 year old and her brother, age 4 1/2, run down the stairs on Christmas morning to see what Santa brought was just priceless.
  • Olivia and Beatrice made a new friend, Ricky the Min-Pin, who was the perfect canine guest.
  • I got several books from authors I'm not familiar with, but are the among the favorites of the givers. New authors! New books! Yippee.
  • It was also my Kindle (tm) Christmas. I downloaded and am reading my first book on it--the new biography of Andrew Jackson. Using the gadget does take some getting used to, but I think I'm going to like it. After I've used it awhile, I'll do a review.
  • For the first time, Babs didn't spend all of the holiday with us. She left Christmas afternoon to join the BF in Alabama and meet his family. Stay tuned.
  • The Old Marine, now the CEO of a food company, brought over a basket full of their latest product--excellent Spanish olive oil. Yum.
  • This last Christmas in the big house was definitely one of the very best. What a blessing! I'm so thankful.
Now it's back to the "real" world....

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas at the Bay


Can you see the little Christmas tree on the dock? We've been down at the bay since the day after Christmas with all the family in tow and away from the internet. (Update: there were 25 for dinner on Christmas Day Chez QG!)

We just got back and had a great time. I hope you and yours had a good celebration, too.

In an uncharacteristic burst of domesticity, El Jefe just made a trip to Home Depot (yes, of course I had to go along) and bought a new steam vacuum cleaner hoping it will clean the dang beige carpet downstairs of the "mystery Bea" stains.

I know. I'm shocked too. Will wonders never cease?

More later.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

QG's Tips for Aspiring Hostesses With the Mostess


After reading a number of comments to my Friday Five play expressing astonishment that I am hosting 22 for dinner on Christmas Day (plus 4 adults, 2 toddlers and a dog out of town guests staying at the house), I am sharing my tips for hosting large numbers in the spirit of the season.

My own mother was not a good hostess--Christmas always made her tense and nervous. This was something I had to learn as an adult and fortunately , my sister and brother-in-law have the gift of hospitality and provided a great model for me.

Herewith QG's tips for Aspiring Hostesses (and Hosts):

1. Delegate, delegate and again I say: delegate. When a guest says "what can I bring?", tell them. Forget being Martha Stewart yourself. You are not a caterer! I always provide the entree, but let guests bring side dishes, bread, wine and desserts.

2. When you tell someone what to bring, take into consideration that guest's personality and lifestyle. Don't ask the busy working mom to bring an elaborate dessert or side dish--assign her bakery rolls or bread from the supermarket. Or wine. Let those who love to cook or bake bring home-made offerings for the table.

3. Fill in the festive board with left-overs. For example, SIL and St. Betty are both having big dinners on Christmas Eve. They will bring left-over side dishes, wine and desserts to my house on Christmas Day. The food is still good and there is a slightly different group who will enjoy it.

4. Set up a large cooler on the porch (or other easily accessible place) filled with ice, water bottles, soft drinks, and fruit juice for the kids. If there are beer drinkers, set up a second cooler with beer and ice. Let everyone help themselves.

5. Assign someone to oversee the bar. Chez QG that is El Jefe's job. This includes setting up and making sure the coolers mentioned above are refilled.

6. Set up a large garbage can in an easily accessible place for disposal of plastic cups, paper plates, etc.

7. Know who is in charge of the cleanup. This year that will be Portia and DK, with assistance from St. Betty and her daughter, The Defender.

8. Choose an easy main dish that doesn't require a lot of fiddling and can be kept warm if necessary until everyone is there and ready to eat. QG's first law of lots of guests is that someone will be delayed so you don't want to serve anything that is ruined if not served immediately.

9. Set up extra tables and chairs wherever you can around the house. Everyone HATES trying to eat in their laps. This may cause crowding, but trust me, it's worth it.

10. RELAX AND ENJOY YOURSELF. Your guests are not going to be critical of your efforts. They are coming to share Christmas joy with you, your family and each other. They are happy to be there and grateful to you for sharing your home and giving them the gift of hospitality.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Beatrice Blogs: On Being a Good Hostess


WOOF!

Mom is not the only one entertaining guests this Christmas. Last night DK's brother brought his dog, Ricky (a Min-Pin), to the house and introduced him to me and Olivia, who spent the weekend with me.

Olivia needs more instruction in hospitality, IMHO. She barked furiously at poor little Ricky. And this isn't even her house! I remembered my manners and approached my guest with the Ritual Sniff of Peace-- which he reciprocated.

After a few minutes Olivia calmed down and reverted to her usual gracious self.

Note to self: order Olivia a copy of Gracious Canine Entertaining by the late Paw Paw (Martha Stewart's dog). Put in her stocking.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Friday Five: Countdown to Christmas Edition


Since I'm making a to-do-list this morning (and checking it twice!), I'll share it with today's RevGals Friday Five, brought to us by Rev. Songbird. I'm sharing the beautiful picture she put on the RGBP blog.

Here's the prompt:

There are only five full days before Christmas Day, and whether you use them for shopping, wrapping, preaching, worshiping, singing or traveling or even wishing the whole darn thing were over last Tuesday, there's a good chance they will be busy ones.

So let's make this easy, if we can: tell us five things you need to accomplish before Christmas Eve.

1. Get my upstairs ready for our out-of-town guests: four adults, two toddlers and one dog.

2. Trip to grocery store. Buy beef now or later? Juice boxes for the kids? Do they like goldfish? Cereal? Pancakes? Pondering these things.

3. Plan Christmas Day dinner for 22. Delegate side dishes to nieces, neighbors and SIL. Real plates or disposables? Cheese grits or potatoes? Cheese grits AND potatoes?

4. Find extra food dish for visiting dog. What does he eat? Can he sleep in Beatrice's large dog car bed? (He's a minature pinscher or "MinPin".)

5. Christmas Eve service at 4 (for kids), 6, 8 or 10? Who will decide?

What's on your list?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

My Faucets Are SO '80's


The fixtures in our "powder room" next to the kitchen decided that the week before Christmas was a good time to go on the fritz. Fritz as in not repairable.

The plumber just called from the plumbing supply house to report that polished brass fixtures are not kept in stock anymore--it seems they are just SO '80's.

A special order is required. It takes 2 weeks. But we'll have 9 houseguests next week and need everything to work. So we'll have to find something in stock, though it won't have the same finish.

The 80's don't seem that long ago to me. Who are the Design Police anyway?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Whither the Christmas Card?


My friend Rev. Di commented on Facebook that she wasn't receiving many Christmas cards and maybe this was the last year she would send them. I've noticed the same phenomenon myself--usually by this time in December we have a big bowl full of cards. This year not so much.

Which raises the question: Whither the Christmas card? Is this tradition that began in Victorian England loosing its popularity?

I can see several reasons why this may be true.

The popularity of email, blogs, Facebook and Twitter (and other internet social networking sites) enable people to find and keep in touch with long-lost friends and relatives year-round. Even us Baby Boomers are doing it!

This year I created a Christmas letter and enclosed it in more than 75 hand-addressed envelopes. This took many hours. Rev Di reported she sent out more than 100! E-greetings would be cheaper and quicker. I have to admit that in some ways I would be relieved to give it up.

On the other hand, we've grown up with this tradition and it wouldn't feel right to abandon it just yet. I do limit my card-sending to close family (because they want to see the Christmas letter) and out-of-town friends. Otherwise the task would be overwhelming.

Are you sending out Christmas cards this year? Why or why not?

Do you think this tradition is becoming less popular? Will E-greetings replace it?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Review: HMNS Exhibit The Birth of Christianity


Last week El Jefe and I had were privileged to have an invitation to preview "The Birth of Christianity, A Jewish Story" exhibit at the Houston Museum of Natural Science because his law firm is one of the sponsors of the exhibit.

It was a great evening. Our friend Dr. Weston Fields, Director of the Dead Sea Scrolls Foundation, and one of the curators of the exhibit, acted as our guide through the artifacts and manuscripts on display.

Those attending seemed to be evenly divided between Christians and Jews, including a number of Israeli officials and the Israeli consul to Houston. It was fascinating to hear a Jewish man in the group giving a tour to a group of his friends. He stopped in front of the Galatians manuscript and gave a brief lecture about "Rabbi Paul", concluding that in his opinion Rabbi Paul was responsible for the creation of Christianity. An opinion shared by many Christian scholars as well!

The most compelling parts of the display, IMHO, are:

1. One of the earliest known manuscripts of the Christmas story from the oldest known Gospel of Luke. What a thrill to see this during the Advent season and think about the many centuries that the faithful have gathered to hear those inspiring words!

2. The earliest manuscript of the Letter to the Galatians, which most scholars believe to be the first book of the New Testament written. The Greek text is so clear that I could read it...if I could read Greek.

3. An ossuary inscribed "Alexander, son of Simon of Cyrene". An ossuary is a box containing the bones of a deceased person. See Mark 15:21:
" A certain man of Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing on his way from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross." (NIV)

The exhibit will be open through April 12, 2009. If you live in the greater Houston area or will be in town during that time, get thee hence to the museum and see it! And bring your friends and family, too.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The 2008 Sappy Awards

~sound of orchestra playing "White Christmas"~
(QG enters stage left, goes to the podium and
begins the 2008 Sappy Awards Ceremony.)

Thank you, thank you! Gentle Readers and Lurkers, today I am pleased to announce the awards in QG's Third Annual Sappy Christmas Song competition. We are grateful to everyone who participated in creating this year's Sappy Christmas Song, which is surely the best one yet! Santa's Bailout is not only timely, sentimental--and thanks to a last-minute challenge--very sappy.

So without further ado--the envelopes, please!

The Who You Gonna Call? Award goes to Presbyterian Gal for responding to our request that she contribute the first stanza of the 2008 song with a financial bailout theme. She also gets the award for contributing key verses that moved the "plot" along when it seemed to be flagging. Well done, PG!

Key Players Awards go to Bill, and Singing Owl for outstanding individual contributions to this year's opus.

The Like Mother, Like Daughter award goes to Averill (known here at QG as Portia) for joining in with her own stanza!

Stushie submitted his own unique Sappy Christmas Song in the comments to this post to the tune of "Little Drummer Boy." He is hereby given the Holistic Song Parodist Award with crossed drumstick clusters.
Parum-pa-pum-pum!

QG had to create a new category in order to give special recognition to Mac ("once a Marine, always a Marine"), who not only submitted his own contribution, but issued a challenge near the end of the contest that elicited the sappiest stanza of them all. The "Listen UP" Award goes to Mac for keeping the focus on the sappy.

And finally, there is one whose contributions were so outstanding that QG has decided to knight him. He not only wrote several stanzas, but created the refrain and met Mac's challenge.

Reformed Catholic
, please come forward and kneel.

I dub thee Sappy Lyricist Extraordinaire. From henceforth you shall be known as Sir RC, S.L.E. by QG. Our virtual hats are off to you!

~wild applause~

Let's join in singing R.C.'s refrain:

O Citibank, O Citibank
My 401 is failing!

Thanks for joining us today for the awards and plan to join us again next Christmas!

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming....

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Sappy Christmas Song 2008--Postscript Stanza

In response to Mac's challenge that the song wasn't really sappy, Reformed Catholic composed a new closing stanza (see comments on the previous post!):

Santa woke on Christmas Eve
hungover like a sailor,
Mrs Claus was thrown in Jail,
for DUI test failure
Claus drank up all the bailout cash
and Rudolph smoked his entire stash

Oh woe is me OH woe is me
They repo'd my double wide trailer.

And THAT, Gentle Readers, is a truly sappy stanza in the style of "Please, Daddy, Don't Get Drunk For Christmas"!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Sappy Christmas Song 2008--Santa Needs a Bailout, Too

Gentle Readers, it is finished! Reformed Catholic provided the perfect closing stanzas to our song and I couldn't resist adding a stanza of my own.

QG's Sappy Christmas Song 2008 Awards will be posted Monday morning. Many thanks to all who participated this year!

And now, let's sing it all together...and a one and a two and a three:

Santa Needs a Bailout, Too

(Tune: O Christmas Tree or Tannenbaum)

It’s the eleventh hour on Christmas Eve,

the north pole stars are all a’twinkle.
But Santa Claus just looks like hell

as he wishes for Rip Van Winkle.
He lost all his operating capital
from
trusting CFO elves Fannie and Freddy.
Paulson turned him down with an evil sneer
Now at midnight he won’t be ready!


Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


The other elves have gone on strike

Because he cannot pay them.

There's no more food the reindeer like
How will he ever feed them?

And Mrs. Claus is crying there

In a big heap upon the stair


Oh Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


Santa's credit line, is all used up
he has no recourse waiting.
The picket line is keeping his

deliveries from mailing.

The Teamsters will not cross the line,

it looks like its scab hiring time.


Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


Fred forgot to winterize
Santa’s sleigh this season,
The reins are stuck, the seats are cracked,
the runners they are freezin’.
De-icing fluid we can’t find

because of strikes at the potash mine,
O Santa sleigh, filled with gifts, you ain’t going nowhere.

Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


Oh, orders from the USA,
They surely are a-tumblin’.

The kiddies and their parents, too,

Have taken to a-grumblin’.
Transferred jobs to cheaper elves,
And bank accounts now gone to…well,

Ol’ Nick had better recognize

Out-sourcin’ can be humblin’.

Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank
My 401 is failing!

So Santa took a ride to buy
A drink to numb his noggin
But he drove by a cheesy sight
And soon he was a sobbin'
In someone's yard, quite full of snow,
He saw a sight that made him slow
Cash overflowed from a leather bag
after a meth house's bust forgot that swag.

O Citibank, O Citibank,
My 401 is failing!

Now Santa's hired laid off folks,
to deliver all the gifts
Though the elves suits were not their size,
And not a comfy fit.
By noon on Christmas Day now,
Santa's sipping brandied hot choc-o-late,
Flipping through the MLS,
looking for retirement real estate.

O Citibank, O Citibank,
My 401 is failing!

That great old tune, O Tannebaum,
is ringing through the city
Its Christmas Day, and while kids play,
Mrs Santa says, "no self-pity !!"
Get on that Sleigh, and head due south,
To Washington and get bailed out.

O Citibank, O Citibank,
My 401 is failing!

With Santa waiting on his bailout,
We're all left to shop at Walmart
Moms tell their kids "without a doubt,
your grand dreams you'll have to part.
With our all savings down the tubes,
Expect no more Wiis or Game Cubes.

O Citibank, O Citibank,
My 401 is failing!

Politics...as usual
What else is new in D.C.
Concessions here, obfuscation there,
Another day in D.C.!
So Santa waits another hour
While kids expect a Lego tower.

O Citibank, O Citibank
My 401 is failing!
Santa's not giving up with out a flight.
Rudolph is dispatched into the night,
To seek pecuniary relief
From the Fed Reserve's chairman in chief.
Bernacke's the man who has the clout
To save Santa's ride without a doubt!
O Citibank, O Citibank
My 401 is failing!

So Santa gets his bailout cash
And North Pole, Inc. is working!
And Mrs. Claus is busy in
The kitchen baking cookies
Their retirement plans, they've put away
He needs to work another day.

O Citibank, O Citibank
My 401 is failing!

So as we gather Christmas Eve
Let's think of those less lucky.
And Him who made lame beggars walk,
The blind see, the dumb talk.
Good will toward men* (KJV)
The angels sang.
Glory to God, sing it every day!

O Citibank, O Citibank,
My 401 is failing!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Sappy Christmas Song--Third Update


Our 2008 Sappy Christmas Song is really taking shape! Our newest stanzas are from Sappy Lyricists Singing Owl, Presbyterian Gal, Reformed Catholic and Averill (a/k/a Portia):


It’s the eleventh hour on Christmas Eve,

the north pole stars are all a’twinkle.
But Santa Claus just looks like hell

as he wishes for Rip Van Winkle.
He lost all his operating capital
from
trusting CFO elves Fannie and Freddy.
Paulson turned him down with an evil sneer
Now at midnight he won’t be ready!


Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


The other elves have gone on strike

Because he cannot pay them.

There's no more food the reindeer like
How will he ever feed them?

And Mrs. Claus is crying there

In a big heap upon the stair


Oh Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


Santa's credit line, is all used up
he has no recourse waiting.
The picket line is keeping his

deliveries from mailing.

The Teamsters will not cross the line,

it looks like its scab hiring time.


Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


Fred forgot to winterize
Santa’s sleigh this season,
The reins are stuck, the seats are cracked,
the runners they are freezin’.
De-icing fluid we can’t find

because of strikes at the potash mine,
O Santa sleigh, filled with gifts, you ain’t going nowhere.

Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


Oh, orders from the USA,
They surely are a-tumblin’.

The kiddies and their parents, too,

Have taken to a-grumblin’.
Transferred jobs to cheaper elves,
And bank accounts now gone to…well,

Ol’ Nick had better recognize

Out-sourcin’ can be humblin’.

Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank
My 401 is failing!

So Santa took a ride to buy
A drink to numb his noggin
But he drove by a cheesy sight
And soon he was a sobbin'
In someone's yard, quite full of snow,
He saw a sight that made him slow
Cash overflowed from a leather bag
after a meth house's bust forgot that swag.

O Citibank, O Citibank,
My 401 is failing!

Now Santa's hired laid off folks,
to deliver all the gifts
Though the elves suits were not their size,
And not a comfy fit.
By noon on Christmas Day now,
Santa's sipping brandied hot choc-o-late,
Flipping through the MLS,
looking for retirement real estate.

O Citibank, O Citibank,
My 401 is failing!

That great old tune, O Tannebaum,
is ringing through the city
Its Christmas Day, and while kids play,
Mrs Santa says, "no self-pity !!"
Get on that Sleigh, and head due south,
To Washington and get bailed out.

O Citibank, O Citibank,
My 401 is failing!

With Santa waiting on his bailout,
We're all left to shop at Walmart
Moms tell their kids "without a doubt,
your grand dreams you'll have to part.
With our all savings down the tubes,
Expect no more Wiis or Game Cubes.

O Citibank, O Citibank,
My 401 is failing!

I sense a big surprise finish coming up! Who will write it? If you're inspired, leave your contribution in the comments. And if you're not--check back to see how the song develops.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Snow?


News flash: The weatherman claims there are snow flurries in Houston. I thought that's what hit me on my way to the mailbox just now. It won't stick because it's not cold enough for that.

Still! How fun! Okay, as you were. Back to the song contest.

Sappy Christmas Song--Second Update

Thanks to Reformed Catholic, Bill and Mac for their contributions to our Sappy Christmas Song! Here's the current version:

It’s the eleventh hour on Christmas Eve,
the north pole stars are all a’twinkle.
But Santa Claus just looks like hell

as he wishes for Rip Van Winkle.
He lost all his operating capital
from
trusting CFO elves Fannie and Freddy.
Paulson turned him down with an evil sneer
Now at midnight he won’t be ready!


Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


The other elves have gone on strike

Because he cannot pay them.

There's no more food the reindeer like
How will he ever feed them?

And Mrs. Claus is crying there

In a big heap upon the stair


Oh Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


Santa's credit line, is all used up
he has no recourse waiting.
The picket line is keeping his

deliveries from mailing.

The Teamsters will not cross the line,

it looks like its scab hiring time.


Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


Fred forgot to winterize
Santa’s sleigh this season,
The reins are stuck, the seats are cracked,
the runners they are freezin’.
De-icing fluid we can’t find

because of strikes at the potash mine,
O Santa sleigh, filled with gifts, you ain’t going nowhere.

Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank,
My 401 is failing!


Oh, orders from the USA,
They surely are a-tumblin’.

The kiddies and their parents, too,

Have taken to a-grumblin’.
Transferred jobs to cheaper elves,
And bank accounts now gone to…well,

Ol’ Nick had better recognize

Out-sourcin’ can be humblin’.

Oh, Citibank, oh Citibank
My 401 is failing!

Will Santa be bailed out? On what terms? Will the government take shares in Santa's Workshop, Inc.? And what about Santa's contract with the Brotherhood of Elves? Or will Christmas...(sob!)...not come this year? Add your lyrics in the comments and check back for updates!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Sappy Christmas Song--First Update

Here's our song so far. What happens next? Add your lyrics in the comments! Remember the tune is "O Christmas Tree" (or "Tannenbaum").

It’s the eleventh hour on Christmas Eve,

the north pole stars are all a’twinkle.

But Santa Claus just looks like hell

as he wishes for Rip Van Winkle.
He lost all his operating capital
from
trusting CFO elves Fannie and Freddy.

Paulson turned him down with an evil sneer
Now at midnight he won’t be ready!

The other elves have gone on strike
Because he cannot pay them.

There's no more food the reindeer like

How will he ever feed them?

And Mrs. Claus is crying there

In a big heap upon the stair




Monday, December 08, 2008

Third Annual Sappy Christmas Song Contest

Are you already driven crazy by "Jingle Bells"? Is "The Little Drummer Boy" playing on an endless loop in your brain? Nauseated by "The Christmas Shoes"? Does the country western carol "Please, Daddy, Don't Get Drunk For Christmas (I Don't Wanna See My Mama Cry)" drive you to distraction?

Take action! You know you can do better! In the spirit of the Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Competition, QG offers you the opportunity to win (virtual) prizes and internet fame by submitting the sappiest possible lyrics to complete our Sappy Christmas Song 2008 Version.

Submit your entry in the comments. I will post periodic updates of the entire song as it evolves into the sappiest, most sentimental song no one would ever want to hear.

Presbyterian Gal graciously agreed to kick off the competition by contributing the opening stanza. Our theme this year is Santa's Bailout. Thanks, PG! You're the best!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, start your keyboards---here is the first stanza. Take it away!


It’s the eleventh hour on Christmas Eve,
the north pole stars are all a’twinkle.

But Santa Claus just looks like hell

as he wishes for Rip Van Winkle.
He lost all his operating capital
from
trusting CFO elves Fannie and Freddy.

Paulson turned him down with an evil sneer
Now at midnight he won’t be ready…..

UPDATE: Be sure to check out Stushie's original song in the comments to the tune of everyone's "favorite" Little Drummer Boy--it's about Hummers!

I don't think I made it clear that the idea is that commenters add verses, stanzas or refrains to the beginning stanza until the Sappy Christmas Song is completed. Now, back to the contest!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Over Booked


The most overwhelming task involved in downsizing is pruning our book collection before we move. There are books in every room of the house, except the dining room and many of the bookshelves are overstuffed. That's what happens when you haven't moved in more than 20 years!

I'm selling some books to Half-Price Books, but it would take multiple trips to get rid of them all with very little return. Our books are not suitable for the Literacy Council because they are above the reading level they need. Anyone have a suggestion of other groups that want donated books?

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Excited and Nervous


This afternoon I shot this photo of our new house. Ground was broken on the project this week.

El Jefe and I have never had good timing when it comes to real estate. This year we've been kicking around the idea of downsizing and visited a new development near our present home that offered pretty patio homes. We found a plan we loved and committed to make the move.

All that was before the stock market tanked, of course. We're fortunate that home values here have not declined drastically. But if we had known what was coming, what would we have done? I don't know. We really are excited about having something just for the two of us.

We'll put our house on the market early in the spring and hope for the best! I'm excited about the new house because it will be mostly one story and we'll each have our own study. And an outdoor kitchen!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Another Honor For Chris O.


Just thought y'all would like to know: Chris Ogbonnaya, My Favorite Longhorn, was named an Academic All-American.

Dr. O called to tell us about it and reminded me that I told Chris when he accepted the offer from UT as a senior, that my prayer for him was that he would be an Academic All-American whether or not he was ever named to the All American athletic squad. Wow.

We're all so proud of him!! Go Chris!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

The Behinder I Get


Remember that old saying: "the faster I go, the behinder I get"?

That's me this Advent season. When we got back from celebrating Thanksgiving with a big crowd down at the bay, I intended to put up the Christmas tree and set out my Christmas decorations. But that hasn't happened yet.

I guess it will get done next weekend. If Babs and Portia will come help me. El Jefe always confines his assistance to hauling the tree from the garage and putting it together.

When I was growing up, we always had a real tree. The family tradition was that we never got the tree before my father's December 8 birthday and it came down on New Year's Day. Now that I use a faker-jocker tree (due to family allergies to the real ones), our tradition has been to put it up after Thanksgiving.

So I'm already behind.

When do you put up the tree in your home? Fake or real?

Monday, December 01, 2008

More Virtual Advent Retreating

This afternoon's post at the RevGals Virtual Advent retreat focuses on the story of the Annunciation -- the angel Gabriel visits Mary and tells her that she will become pregnant with the Messiah (Luke 1:26-38).

I believe that we continue to encounter God today, but it is seldom in such a dramatic fashion. In my experience, God seems to manifest Himself in more subtle ways. He nudges me through the voices of others or by creating circumstances for me to respond to. The season of Advent reminds me that when I don't take the time to watch, wait and listen for God's guidance--He nudges me a bit harder the next time.

Mary had no doubt that the Angel Gabriel was a true messenger from God, but I am not always sure that the nudge is Godly or a manifestation of my own will. When I have been very sure, it is usually because I have prayed for guidance. When I don't pray for that guidance, God has to "re-send" that nudge to get my attention.

Thanks be for those Godly nudges!

Virtual Retreating

I'm joining in the RevGals Virtual Advent retreat this morning a bit late, so I am combing my response to the first two reflections. If you want to join in, go here.

Since this is the first day of the month, I did my accounts before joining the retreat. We don't usually think of Advent as season that emphasizes accounting in the way that Lent is. But I think Advent nudges us to do some accounting in our hearts in order to prepare ourselves for the coming of Christ.

The powerfully poignant opening solo of Handel's Messiah, "Comfort Ye", emphasizes the twin Advent themes of repentance and redemption. I like the way The Message words these verses:
"Comfort, oh comfort my people," says your God. "Speak softly and tenderly to Jerusalem, but also make it very clear That she has served her sentence, that her sin is taken care of—forgiven! She's been punished enough and more than enough, and now it's over and done with."
Isaiah 40: 1-2
Today I am also preparing Thursday's lesson for my Bible Study Discussion group. Our memory verse this week, appropriately enough is:
If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways then will I hear them from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 (NIV)
I am called to humble myself and seek God's face in this season of Advent and pray for that redemption promised in the coming of Christ. Comfort my people, comfort me with the knowledge that our sins are taken care of--forgiven!

One of the ways in which I am 'making straight in the desert the highway of our God' is by simplifying my preparations for Christmas this year. We're cutting back on the gift-giving, house decorating and seasonal "busy-ness" by not exchanging gifts with other adults in the family, winnowing that old stash of Christmas stuff that I used to put all around the house and vowing not to try to out-Martha-Martha (Stewart, that is) in the hospitality department. Setting out a few take-out dishes and taking some shortcuts reduces the stress of being with family and friends.