It's that time of year again, Gentle Readers!! Yes, I know you hoped I would forget but tradition trumps all. It's time to begin QG's Fifth Annual Sappy Christmas Song Contest.
~applause applause~
The contest is inspired by the Bulwer-Lytton Bad Fiction Contest and its motto: "where w.w.w. means wretched writers welcome!"
Each year my Gentle Readers are invited to contribute their own deathless lyrics in a group effort to create the sappiest, most sentimental and generally execrable Christmas Song of the year. Think Christmas Shoes, only worse!!!
Here are the rules of the contest:
- QG posts a beginning stanza. If your muse is with you, add a stanza or lines of your own in the comments.
- QG will post updates as the 2009 Sappy Christmas Song evolves and you may continue adding verses in the comments.
- When, in the sole judgment of QG, the Song seems complete, or QG gets tired of it, the entire song will be posted and prizes will be awarded. The prizes will be inspired by the contributions--so be creative!
This year's Sappy Christmas Song will be sung to the tune of Good King Wenceslas. Here's a link to the music to help you along.
And here is the first stanza of the 2010 Sappy Christmas Song:
Good Pastor Wendy won't come out
of her little study,
She is feeling very stressed
Her Christmas spirit's cruddy.
Bills stack up upon her desk,
The choir master quit her.
Bills stack up upon her desk,
The choir master quit her.
Church finances are a tangled mess,
Down her cheek there falls a tear.
Now it's up to you! Add a stanza or a few lines in the comments and I will post periodic updates!
6 comments:
[in thick Yorkshire accent]
Ey oop Wendy, cheer oop lass,
Thon's bin in worser pickles;
t'snow's piled high so light a fire
let flames yon bills to tickle...
t'choir man he wore tone deaf
of very little merit
Off thee go and have a pint
and play with yonder ferrets
[translated:
Hello Wendy, cheer up,
things could be worse,
it's very snowy outside so get the fire on -
burn the bills.
the choir master wasn't particularly musical,
nothing to recommend anyway.
Go and have a beer
and play with those ferrets over there instead.]
Brilliant, Nik!! Just brilliant.
I love it.. especially adding the Yorkshire accent.
I try in my small way to amuse ;)
Pastor Wendy wiped her eyes,
On her Christmas stocking,
Wondering if it could be time,
Just to head out walking.
Could there be another spot,
One less aggravating?
Could it be that she should look,
For a job less ja-aaaa-ding?
Wendy left her office cold,
headed for the Starbucks.
"Double-espresso choc-o grande,
with a shot of milk, Chuck !!"
Out the door she strode that day,
sipping on her coffee.
After Christmas, she did say,
another job I'll be seeking.
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