Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Sappy Christmas Song 2010: Good Pastor Wendy

Thanks to Nik, Singing Owl and Reformed Catholic for their contributions to "Good Pastor Wendy", the 2010 Sappy Christmas song. Remember, it is set to the tune of Good King Wenceslas. And here's the song so far:

Good Pastor Wendy won't come out
of her little study,
She is feeling very stressed
Her Christmas spirit's cruddy.
Bills stack up  upon her desk,
The choir master quit her.
Church finances are a tangled mess,
Down her cheek there falls a tear.

Ey oop Wendy, cheer oop lass,
Thon's bin in worser pickles;
t'snow's piled high so light a fire
let flames yon bills to tickle...
t'choir man he wore tone deaf
of very little merit
Off thee go and have a pint
and play with yonder ferrets

[translated from the Yorkshire-ese
Hello Wendy, cheer up,
things could be worse,
it's very snowy outside so get the fire on -
burn the bills.
the choir master wasn't particularly musical,
nothing to recommend anyway.
Go and have a beer
and play with those ferrets over there instead.]

Pastor Wendy wiped her eyes,
On her Christmas stocking,
Wondering if it could be time,
Just to head out walking.
Could there be another spot,
One less aggravating?
Could it be that she should look,
For a job less ja-aaaa-ding?
--Singing Owl

Wendy left her office cold,
headed for the Starbucks.
"Double-espresso choc-o grande,
with a shot of milk, Chuck !!"
Out the door she strode that day,
sipping on her coffee.
After Christmas, she did say,
another job I'll be seeking.

What kind of job will Pastor Wendy be seeking? Will it relieve her stress or add to it? Will another accent make an appearance in the song or no? What's with the Christmas ferrets? Only you have the answer...add your verse in the comments!! For more information see this post.


Robin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robin said...

Pastor Wendy went downtown
Thought she'd look for presents
Ran into the youth group there
They were planning nonsense
All dressed up like reindeer they
Pranced around the food court
Singing loudly all the day:
Hallelujah Chorus!

Robin said...

I think that should be:

Chor - or- us!

Quotidian Grace said...

Great stanza, Robin!!!

Quotidian Grace said...

Okay, I have ferrets on the brain...

From the pet store suddenly
Came the Christmas ferrets
As their cages they did flee
Absconding with some carrots.
Pastor Wendy quickly spied
The youth group chasing after
Shoppers screamed, so horrified
What a big Dis-aaa-ster!!

Robin said...

It's snowing too hard to go out and I am tired of sweeping up the ornaments I've broken, so I'm returning to my new career as a lyricist:

Pastor's Wendy's thinking
'Bout her days in D-school
All those late-life students
Thought it's fine to switch the rules.
Stops at Borders for a look
Maybe a career change?
Gets herself an L-SAT book
Knows that now she is de-ranged!

Nik said...

Ey-oop lass and hasten quick
T' ferrets have escap-ed
Yonder youth group's in the nick
For their daft-like capers:
Forced 't ferrets into Mall -
They danced around the Yule tree.
Alas thon youth group's all locked up:
Charged with animal cru-el-ty.

Oh gosh, best hurry
the ferrets have escaped.
The youth group have been put into prison:
they were really rather unkind to the wee ferrets
And made them dance around the Christmas tree in the mall.
Alas, the youth group have been locked up
because ferrets are sentient beings and really shouldn't be treated with such disrespect]

Reformed Catholic said...

Wendy thought about those kids
chasing after polecats.
Wish they had such energy
at Sunday evening youth camp.
I better go and bail them out,
then go call their parents.
So off to the precinct she went,
forgetting to buy presents.

Reformed Catholic said...

So Wendy went back to the Manse,
turned on her computer.
Amazon, Sears and HSN,
online shopping's easier.
No ferrets running all about,
or shoppers wild expressions.
Christmas wrappings only 3 bucks,
Shipped directly to-oo them.

Reformed Catholic said...

QC .. please change the 7th line of my 11:49pm post to:

Off to the precinct thus she went

it holds to the tune better ;)

earthchick said...

Pastor Wendy's debit card
Sadly was rejected.
Her account was overdrawn,
Her balance sheet neglected.
Christmas bonuses were naught
For Wendy or her staff
When she once asked about them,
Everyone did laugh.