Friday Fun: Pet Rapture Insurance

You know, what with trying to follow the health care reform controversies in the news, the beginning of BSD, planning to move The Diva to her new abode in Houston and the coming of the Inconvenient Cold, I have totally forgotten to make provision for Beatrice and Olivia when the Rapture occurs.

Think about it. When we're all RAPTURED, who will care for our pets who will be LEFT BEHIND???? There's nothing in scripture that says our pets get to come with us. Now, I know there are some of you who will tell the Angel Gabriel at the last trump that you aren't going if Fluffy and Fido can't come too, but let's be realistic. If you are pre-destined to be raptured, you're going to be raptured. Fluffy and Fido are not.

Hat tip to Houston Chronicle blogger Jill Carroll for solving our dilemma--Eternal Earth Bound Pets USA provides for your peace of mind by offering Rapture Insurance for your pets.

For a mere $110 one-time premium, Eternal Earth Bound Pets will guarantee a forever home with a loving atheist (who of course will also be Left Behind) if the Rapture takes you within 10 years of your payment date. For a small additional fee of $15 each, you can insure multiple cats, dogs, birds, rabbits and small caged mammals. Sorry, no reptiles or amphibians are covered.

Unfortunately, at this time no pet-loving atheists in Texas have registered with EEBP so this insurance is not available here yet. If you live in Texas and have a pet-loving atheist friend who would take good care of Beatrice and Olivia, let me know!

An Inconvenient Cold

Razzlefrackzit!

I caught Portia's cold yesterday. Tomorrow is the big kick-off for BSD and I don't need to be red-nosed and sneezing while I hand out curriculum to a couple hundred women and try to make a good impression as leader to my small group.

And it seems I don't have any tea bags, either. Must have pitched them in the move. Dang.

Double Razzlefraczkit.

MOB Redux Update: Yes to the Dress

Portia, the Diva, SIL, Babs and I had a wonderful time Saturday shopping for THE dress. And yes, we found it. It was clear by the way Babs' face lit up when she modeled it for us that it was the ONE.

We also found the dress for the matron of honor (Portia) and bridesmaid (P-Dubya's sister) in a beautiful saturated shade of coral. There was a darling flower girl dress as well. Now the question is, one or two flower girls?

We had a wonderful day and it was all topped off by the wedding of Dr. O's eldest daughter, Valerie! The ceremony was just perfect (Babs was one of the readers) and the reception a joyous celebration of the joining of two families and cultures from opposite ends of the word --that would be Nigeria and Australia--right here in the heart of Texas.

For us, Labor Day weekend was chock-full of blessings.

Friday Fun: Pastor Warning

Today's Friday Fun comes from the inimitable SpookyRach at Skewed View.

PresbyReaders can substitute "elders" for "deacons."

Mom of Congress: Opening Day Assignments

Dear Congress Boys and Girls,

CongressMom hopes that you enjoyed your August break, even though some of you had a better time than others. I have been getting everything ready for the first day of the new session.

CongressMom was saddened to hear that some of you exhibited very poor deportment over the break. Shelia Jackson Lee, I am talking to YOU! Hand me that cell phone right now. When you return, you are to report directly to the Time Out Room for the first week of the session.

Now, it has also come to my attention that a big clique has formed and will not work with those who are not in the clique. This is not acceptable behavior in Congress, boys and girls! We have to learn to work together and co-operate. Can you say "CO-OPERATE"? It is a big word, boys and girls, but it is a very important word.

CongressMom needs to teach each of you the meaning of that word, so when you return you will have assigned seats and be divided into groups to write your bills. The health care reform bills you wrote in the last session were so poorly written that poor CongressMom could not understand them, so she threw them away. You are going to have to start over boys and girls!

Each group will have liberals, moderates and conservatives and you will be expected to learn how to work together and write a bill that everyone in the group can agree on no matter how long it takes. Pay attention when you write that bill because you will be tested to see how much of it you remember after your group turns it in. Yes, that means you are expected to read it. All of it.

Enjoy the rest of your recess,

Mom of Congress

Book Review: In The President's Secret Service

Ronald Kessler, formerly a reporter for both the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal, has written a series of "inside the (fill in the blank)" books that have been best-sellers. He tackled the CIA, Congress, the FBI and now has written an "inside" book on the Secret Service: In the Presidents Secret Service: Behind the Scenes With Agents in the Line of Fire and the Presidents They Protect. (Also available at amazon.com.)

I heard Kessler interviewed about this book on a radio show and thought it sounded intriguing. And it is! Kessler provides a history of the establishment and evolution of the Secret Service which began as an agency within the Treasury Department in 1865 to track down and arrest counterfeiters of US currency. He traces the evolution of the agency to its present day role as security provider for the President, Vice President and their families; Presidential candidates; and others as ordered by the President.

In the book's prologue, Kessler notes that

"because Secret Service agents are sworn to secrecy, voters rarely know what their presidents, vice presidents, presidential candidates and Cabinet officers are really like. If they did, says a former Secret Service agent, "they would scream."

Some of the revelations in the book are not new--JFK and LBJ were compulsive womanizers and Nixon was strange. Since Secret Service agents spend 24/7 with their protectees, it was interesting to learn which Presidents and Vice Presidents treated them well.

At the top of the list is Laura Bush. "I've never heard a negative thing about Laura Bush. Nothing. Everybody loves her to death and respects the hell out of her," Kessler quotes an agent as saying. Ronald Reagan, the Cheneys, George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush, and the Obamas are also praised in the book for their considerate relationship with their agents. On the bottom of the list are Jimmy Carter, LBJ, Al Gore, and Hilary Clinton.

Being the child of a President has got to be tough. The two former First Daughters, Barbara and Jenna Bush, chafed at the Secret Service oversight over their lives and led them a merry chase for most of their father's term in office. My own daughters are the same age as these two and I can just imagine them reacting the same way. What college student wants a permanent security escort dogging them? At the end of W's term, though, Kessler relates that the twins had matured and showed more appreciation for their security detail. Agents thought Amy Carter was "a mess" and Kessler says that the least liked child of a president was Chip Carter.

There was a lot of praise, by contrast, for Chelsea Clinton who was a favorite of the agents. " In my career, Chelsea Clinton did it the best. Treated the detail right, told them what was going on, never gave problems that I know of," Kessler quotes an agent as saying.

Gossipy anecdotes and factoids aside, the book presents a forceful and detailed argument that the failure of the Secret Service administrative heads to adopt modern personnel practices and to advocate effectively for the budgetary needs of the agency is creating a serious security risk for those they are charged to protect. Kessler says that threats against President Obama are up 400 per cent compared with those against George W. Bush. If Kessler's analysis is correct then this is an issue that should be addressed immediately by Congress.

Kessler also documents several incidents of threats against recent presidents that were thwarted by the Secret Service which have not previously been publicized. It is interesting to see the different ways in which the agents get, analyze and act upon all the information that comes into them.

The downside of any "inside the" book is the fact that there is little or no named attribution for the facts and opinions of the "insiders". That is certainly true here, because the agents are sworn to secrecy about their day to day life with those they protect and the intelligence techniques that the agency uses. Are axes being ground by the unnamed agents Kessler interviewed? Probably. Caveat lector.

I enjoyed the stories about the different presidential families and learned a lot about the history of the service and the issues it confronts today.

Beatrice Blogs: QG's Dachsie Day Care

Woof! Beatrice here with a report on QG's latest enterprise--dachsie day care.

Ever since Portia and DK moved into the neighborhood, I've been seeing a lot more of my sister Olivia. It seems that QG has opened a dachsie day care on me. Portia drops her off on her way to work and then picks her up on her way home.

This means my day is much more interesting. Here's our schedule:

Eight thirtyish--Olivia arrives. We have to lick each other, give the kiss of peace, and run around the house shoulder to shoulder.

Eight-fifty--Exhausted from our greetings, so its time for a morning nap.

Note that nap can be interrupted by people ringing the doorbell, coming and going, QG getting up from her desk, the phone ringing, or a noise outside. Then we must bark. Yes, we're light sleepers!

Noonish--Time for food! Our favorite is venison/rice/sweet potato dry food with a cottage cheese garnish. Nonfat cottage cheese of course because Olivia is...well it must be said...a bit chubby.

Afternoon--naps after lunch all around. Occasional forays outside if its not too hot for water, bird chasing, sunning and rolling in the grass.

Sixish--Portia returns for Olivia. Whew! It's been a hard day. But I like having company, especially when no one is home.

Evening--naps interrupted by evening walks with El Jefe and QG. Don't know what goes on with Olivia at Portia's. But there are some cats to chase there and I hope Olivia remembers whose side she is on.

Beatrice, her mark

Friday Fun: Bad Vestments blog

With a hat tip to GA Junkie, Steve Salyards, let me introduce you to the Bad Vestments Blog ("because Christian worship is not supposed to be about you.")

The blog welcomes your contributions. Fortunately for my church, the pastors do not wear vestments. Just the occasional academic gown.

VBS for Senior Citizens--A New Trend?

This week my friend Mary Marcotte ( who is also a certified DCE and Associate General Presbyter of Presbytery of New Covenant) told me about a very successful event at her church in Houston this summer: a Vacation Bible School for Seniors! No, I am not making this up.

I asked Mary to act as a special correspondent for QG and she graciously filed this report on the event:

Pines Presbyterian Church (about 600 members) held its first Life on the Senior Side VBS. For four mornings, folks over the age of 55 were invited to gather for "Vacation Bible School." Somewhere between 65 and 75 were present each day. The effort grew out of the request of some of the many older adults in the congregation who routinely volunteered at the traditional VBS and thought they could/should get in on the fun, too.

The format was simple - gathering for coffee and goodies at 9, singing a few of the golden oldie revival songs at 9:30, followed by a presentation lasting about 40 min. There was then another break (more coffee and goodies) and then particpants could choose workshops that lasted about an hour - discussion with the morning speaker, woodworking, crafts, table games, and writing letters to service men.The group then re-gathered for a VERY short closing and prayer. On Thursday the program ended with lunch.

There was a different speaker each day, touching on seniors in the Bible. Two days were led by older members of the church. The first day I did "Let's hear it for the girls!" (Sarah, Naomi, Elizabeth and Anna) and Rev. Doug Harper, HR, spoke on the older Paul.

Given the graying of the denomination (and of most mainline Protestant churches), Mary's church may be on the leading edge of a new trend! I always did love craft and snack time myself....

The Diva is IN

I just got back from fetching our own Divine Diva Catherine from the airport and, after a bite of lunch, depositing her at Houston Grand Opera for her first rehearsal of the season. We're excited she's here!

Just like Portia and Babs always did after a long sojourn in Yankee Land, she has a hankerin' for some Mexican food tonight. What is it about Mexican food that says "I'm home!" to the displaced Texan?

Can't wait for those margaritas! I'm sure they are very good for the voice. Not to mention the salsa.

What Would Visitors Think?

Yesterday one of my fellow choir members asked me what a visitor would think about our church based on the way our chancel is arranged.

What a great question!

Most Presbyterian churches have a communion table (don't call it an altar!) with the symbols of communion on it in the center; a pulpit to one side and a lecturn on the other. A cross is usually front and center in some way.

Our church is having space and logistical issues between a growing traditional choir and music program at the late service and the popular contemporary music of an earlier service. Sharper conceptual minds than mine are noodling about solutions, but meanwhile there is no lecturn or pulpit (the pastors preach without notes and the scripture readings are projected on screens). The communion table is not in place unless it is communion Sunday. The pipe organ console and choir loft are in the center. A very large cross and abstract stained glass wall are behind the choir. To one side is a piano and to the other is a large set of drums, left over from the previous service because there is not enough time to move it safely out of the way.

My friend suggested a visitor would conclude from the arrangement that music was the center of worship. She's probably right.

What do you think your chancel suggests to a visitor about your church's emphasis in worship?

Friday Fun: Return of Project Runway

Portia, Babs, Jane Long and I are fast fans of Project Runway and missed it while host and creator Heidi Klum was embroiled in legal disputes with the Bravo network over moving the show to Lifetime. Now the lawsuits are over and we were treated to not one, but three PR shows last night.

The first was a Project Runway Challenge of the All-Stars which pitted several contestants from previous seasons against each other. It was interesting to see how they had evolved their styles, but the show was clearly a warm-up for the new season.

The first episode has been in the can for quite a while awaiting resolution of the legal disputes. The show was also moved from New York to Los Angeles . I think the highlight of the show was when Tim Gunn talked a contestant out of an emotional melt-down, ending with his trademark admonition: Make it Work!

The loser refused to sketch her design and instead contemplated it standing on her head. Then presented an "ensemble" (and I use the word loosely) that in no way fit the challenge to create a dress suitable for a very formal "red carpet" appearance. That was too easy for the judges!

The third show is all about the models for PR. I have no time for that drama and didn't watch it but marveled that Lifetime wants to milk PR for this additional hour. Models are totally at the mercy of the designer they are assigned to -- if he/she loses, they lose. I can't see any reason to watch it, but if you disagree let me know.

Rock on Tim and Heidi! Other PR fans, let's discuss....

MOB Redux Update: Tour De Dresses

We're about to start wedding gown shopping in Houston.

Portia bought her wedding gown in Austin because she was finishing law school and taking the bar exam there so she didn't need to travel to Houston for fittings. Babs, on the other hand, is here in Houston.

The girls' friends and my SIL and nieces tell us that there are two major shops for this purpose in town, so Babs called to set up an appointment with one of them. Not so fast! It seems that shop is going out of business the end of this month. BUT they are having a great sale on their sample sizes, which (God be praised!) she wears.

We had planned a shopping tour de dresses for Labor Day Weekend, but now we're going to check out the big sale this weekend because...well...how can we not?

On the other hand, we are all really looking forward to the tour de dresses and Babs has appointments scheduled. So unless Babs is truly wowed Saturday, the tour will go forward.

We have engaged a florist and photographer because they get scheduled months and months in advance.

Other to-do items on the wedding check list are deciding on the cake vendor (the venue where we are doing the reception does food but not wedding cakes) and what kind of musical entertainment Babs and P-Dubya would like at the reception. DJ? Small ensemble? Dancing or not? The reception rooms can accomodate a DJ or 3 piece ensemble and a dance floor. Suggestions welcome.

You Know Its Hot When....

Portia's House Beautiful Post and GG

Gannet Girl is one of my oldest blogging friends. We have much in common--as women of the same age and stage in life and as attorneys who left that profession to become more involved in the church: me as a Director of Christian Education and later Moderator of Presbytery and she as a teacher in a Jewish school and now as a seminary student preparing for ordination in the PCUSA.

She also follows my daughter Portia's blog, Odi et Amo (link on my sidebar). A recent post there, House Beautiful, which was a color personality quiz prompted GG to write some fascinating reflections about color, decor, spirituality and ministry this weekend.

Go here and here to read them. Thanks GG! I wish I had time to write a more thoughtful response here, but am due at Portia's this morning to help with more unpacking from her move.

Friday Fun: Web Pillow Designing

Leave it to Portia to keep finding fun but time sucking sites on the web.

Here's the latest: Design Your Own Pillow from inmod.com.

(Illustration shamelessly copied from Odi et Amo because I couldn't figure out how to do it myself. I'm sure Portia won't mind....)

You get to pick from a number of themes and then choose the colors for the design. If you really love your design you can order the pillow!

I designed several but couldn't figure out how to copy them for you. But Portia did, so go to Odi et Amo and you can see her designs.

Must walk away. Now.

Ministry To Moms

PresbyBlogger Jan Edmiston wrote a thought-provoking post yesterday at A Church For Starving Artists: The Secret Needs of Moms. She said that "there is a huge market out there for someone to have a ministry of spiritual direction just for moms."

I sure could have used that back in the day when Portia and Babs were very young. Moms with young children often form peer support groups in churches but these usually focus on practical questions of parenting, working, and volunteering and not on the spiritual side of life with a young family.

Jan asks what that ministry might look like. One of her commenters responded by describing a back to school event that the older women in her church were hosting for the younger women in the congregation with children. The event centers around packing school kits for Lutheran World Relief, but the older women will be giving "survival kits" to the younger women as a thank-you and encouragement for them. The kits include tea bags; bath & body shower gel and hand sanitzer; a votive candle: and OF COURSE dark chocolate! As the commenter observed "they are reaching out... to say 'hey I've been there... let me help".

In what ways does your church reach out to mothers of young children to encourage, support and feed them spiritually?

(Cross-posted at Presbyterian Bloggers)

Blogging in the Age of Facebook and Twitter

PresbyBlogger Carol Howard Merritt at Tribal Church posted a series of questions and answers on blogging in the church that came out of a webinar she led for the Albans Institute on the subject of Social Media Strategies. This is an excellent resource for pastors or others in the church who are considering beginning a blog and wondering how that differs from the church webpage or Facebook page.

The post got me thinking about whether or not blogging is--or will become--"so yesterday" in the fast-moving world of today's internet. I have noticed in the last six months or so a significant decline in comments on my blog and on other blogs that I follow. My blog traffic is slightly down, too, and other bloggers have made the same observation.

Since joining Facebook, I've noticed some fellow bloggers are writing much more frequently there than on their blogs. Some are also using Twitter instead of blogging or posting on Facebook. Facebook entries usually are more personal because the readers are a group of "friends" and not just anyone on the net. Twitter limits information that is shared but it is shared with anyone who wants to follow your tweets.

Each of these social media meet different needs for different people. I prefer blogging because it requires more thought and deliberation and encourages an exchange of ideas throught the comments. I've met some great friends online that I would never have met on Facebook or known to look up on Twitter.

How about you? Are you blogging less and Facebooking or Twittering more? Why or why not?

Beatrice Blogs: A Dog's Life at Dunclutha

WOOF! Beatrice here to tell you what I did on vacation. QG and El Jefe took me down to Dunclutha (their bay house at Port Alto) for a week. Don't I look RELAXED?

Oh, Olivia came, too, because DK and Portia were busy working and getting ready to move next Saturday.

Olivia and I got in lots of naps. In between naps we protected the place by barking fiercely and chasing after every big dog--labs, golden retrievers, and collies--that we saw. They all ran away from us! Well, until Sunday when a pair of labs chased us back. We do love us a ride in the golf cart. It helps us find those big dogs where they live and give them some what for.

QG and El Jefe are SO FUNNY when they try to chase us and stop us from running after them! It's our very favoritist game. That and chewing the weather stripping when QG and El Jefe left us inside to go to town for dinner. I don't know why they made frowny faces when they got back. Wasn't that what it is for?

Now we're back and Olivia went home. QG says she'll soon be living very close and can come play more often. Good! We'll find some big dogs in the neighborhood, I just know it.

WOOF!

Your friend, Beatrice

Presbytery Day of Service Report: MDPC

After I mentioned on QG the Presbytery of New Covenant's plans for a Day of Service in lieu of a regular presbytery meeting, I received an
email from a reporter for the Presbyterian Layman asking who he should contact to get more information on the event. I suggested he contact our General Presbyter and Moderator, and he wrote a very nice article posted on the Layman site here. I didn't realize they were following my blog, either!

So here's my report on my church's project which was called Operation Compassion. Church members spent Saturday at Spring Woods Middle School, which is a few miles from MDPC and serves an economically underprivileged area.

As we came in the school's monument sign greeted us.

We went inside to register and get our assignments.

There was already a lot of activity, plus donuts, kolaches and coffee. If you feed Presbyterians, they will come!



I was assigned to the teachers project room. Here we were given miles of laminated activity cards for math classes to cut out and clip together. I was told that since the school doesn't have many parent volunteers this was the first time the teachers had this kind of assistance. And they really went to town! Apparently they had been organizing and planning for this since last spring when they heard we were coming. I appropriated a paper cutter and got to work.

In another area of this large rooms a couple of moms and several preteen and teenage girls were putting together "goody bags" for the teachers. I spotted some nice metal thermos mugs going into the bags, which were carted away and will be a nice surprise for the teachers on their first day back to work later this month.



Here's El Jefe at his duty station: rolling lockers. That meant he was tasked with changing the combinations on the lockers. Unfortunately most of them were near the floor. "This is a good job for a short guy," he said. Which he is not. Later in the morning I found him scooting around on a rolling chair he had commandeered from someone's office.





The school had a nice courtyard that needed attention, so here's a photo of some of our gardeners. The smell of mulch filled the air--even inside the building! God bless them all for their efforts on one of the hottest days of the year.






As we left, I got this picture of church and community families eating lunch together, courtesy of Chik-Fil-A. One of the organizers told me that more people were expected for the afternoon shift than the morning shift that we worked. There was still gardening, painting, locker rolling and paper trimming to be done!


It was a great day for the church and the school and the presbytery. If your presbytery takes the challenge and schedules a day of service, let me know!