Wednesday, August 20, 2008

PresbyLimpic Events

Watching the Olympic Games I was struck with the thought: what if the PCUSA sponsored PresbyLimpic Games?

The games could feature:

Weightlifting, in which commissioners compete to see who can lift a GA mailing.

The Eternal Marathon, run by the F.O.G. Task Force in an infinite loop.

Verbal Gymnastics, where commissioners vie to produce the most verbose comments from the floor.

Leaps of Faith, where commissioners vote their best guess on a complicated issue they never heard of before.

Synchronized Sermonizing, where ministers compete to compose sermons based on the same scripture.

Moderator-a-Thon, where candidates for Moderator compete in blogging, resume writing, picture posing, and not overtly campaigning for office.

PresbyFriends, what events would you add to the PresbyLimpics?


Presbyterian Gal said...

Visitation Track and Field,

With the 50 and 100 visit dash - Ministers compete for most visits accomplished in a day. ICU visits count as two. Points deducted for counting family members as separate visits.

High Five Hurdles - Where session members see who can jump highest to congratulate themselves on passing a motion.

and the Sermon Sprint - for fastest spoken sermon with fewest breaths.

(very fun stuff!!! Love your list)

Anonymous said...

I'd add Committee and Council Kayaking...where one has to negotiate a safe path through turbulent waters at presbytery

Althea N. Agape said...

Action item dodgeball -- can you get out of session without tasks assigned to you?

Kyle said...

Unannounced Action Item Shot Put - Session members see how far they can get on a last second unannounced action item.

Steve Salyards said...

Speaker Sprint - Which commissioner can deliver the longest speech in the allotted time on the floor of GA or Presbytery. Go over your time and you fault and are disqualified.

Parliamentary Ping-pong - Who can add the last motion to an action item without being ruled out of order by the moderator or clerk.

Great post!

Reformed Catholic said...

Resolution Butterfly - 100 meters: try to swim through the mass of committee resolutions without taking a stand on any, while glad-handing all the resolution proponents.

Quotidian Grace said...

Wonderful events, everyone! Keep 'em coming.

Kyle, El Jefe calls unannounced action items at session "jump balls."

Reformed Catholic said...

Leap of Faith Long Jump: supporting or not supporting an overture by saying "I know Jesus would (not) support this because .... "

Adel Thalos said...

Synchronized ordination vow double-speak:
Medals will be awarded to candidates who can best twist and reinterpret vows to mean the opposite of intended meaning.

Althea N. Agape said...

the church biathlon
slug through a lot of deep stuff, then shot your wounded...