Friday, December 11, 2009

Fourth Annual Sappy Christmas Song Contest: Second Update

Welcome to our first international Sappy Christmas Song contestant--NIK! She is pursuing ordination in the Mother Church of Presbyterianism -- the Church of Scotland, and lives in Edinburgh. Her entry, below, is quite creative. Nik blogs at A Pilgrims Process.

~applause, applause!~

I couldn't resist adding a verse of my own...below.

You don't have to write a complete stanza if your Muse is not with you. You can contribute a few lines and challenge others to complete it!

And here's our second update:

~tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing~

Mark and Gerald Engel sing
"Gosh almighty! It's Christmas time again"
Time to wear the suit of red
at least that's what our mall boss said
Stain resistant Santa pants
"Gimme", "Gimme" children chants
With the parents loud proclaim
"I wanna take the picture again!!!"
Mark and Gerald Engel sing
"Gosh almighty! It's Christmas time again"

--Presbyterian Gal

Mark’s the Chairman of the Board;
Gerry was VP at Ford.
Now to retail quick they come.
Will the season be a bomb?
Putting stuff where all can see
For sale with trusty Master C.
Barbie, Legos stuff from Dell!
Having stuff is really swell.
Buy a watch or buy a ring--
Commerce is this season’s King!


Santa's mall village looks so fine,
The children begin to fall in line.
To ask for what their heart's desire;
Toys and games of which they'll soon tire.
Gerry smoothes her freshly coifed hair;
Mark takes his place in Santa's chair.
Seeing in line the first little girl,
Mark thinks that he's going to hurl.
For Susie with no shoes and cough;
This morning, her parents Mark laid-off.

--Rev. Kim

Mark killed puppies, squirrels and kitties.
Into prison he was sent.
There he met his best friend, Bubba,
Who took him for his last red cent.
Oh, the woe and tragedy,
Now the Guv has set him free.
No job, so Momma’s is his flop.
But Gerry wants a home to mop.
This Santa gig is his last hope,
So on a train they can elope.


Mark's still sitting on the chair
All these kids, its starting to wear.
Gerry ushers to and fro
Kid to mom says, "I have to go"
Mom (on line for over an hour):
"you can wait .. Look its Santa's tower"
Up on the chair little Sammy goes,
over Santa's pants, poor Sammy flows.
Mark the mops will soon be here,
Time to feed those tiny raindeer.

--Reformed Catholic

And for something new this year
they've produced some real 'rain'deer.
But the blighters are quite randy:
kiddies shocked in mall ain't dandy.
Tabloid press are all outraged,
meanwhile reindeer get engaged.
Lawsuits flying everywhere
and some kid's nicked Santa's hair.


Sales are down, the stores lament,
Shoppers moan, my money's spent.
Mark and Gerry save their earnings
Credit card use they are spurning.
Looking toward that Christmas Day,
Spending time with family,
In the meantime Mark still sits
and kids still fuss, and cry, throw fits.
Mark the line is almost done,
Time to pack up and head for home

-Reformed Catholic

Outside the mall a dachsie dog
Thrown from a car like it was a log,
Was crying so piteously
Mark hastened to the parking lot to see.
Several people gathered round
To try to help the little hound
Mark knelt down and patted its head
He saw it was needing to be fed
"Pup, you're coming home with me,
You'll be the kids' gift under the tree."



ceemac said...

don't have enough for a verse but here are two lines:

Upon arrival that dachsie dog
Headed for a swim in the egg nog

Quotidian Grace said...

That's the spirit, ceemac! Thanks! Who will continue this stanza?????

Reformed Catholic said...

OK ...

Upon arrival that dachie dog
Headed for a swim in the egg nog.
Mark laughed, "least its non-alcoholic"
"better the nog, then him having colic"!
"I'm going out to the Petco store,
and get him some toys to chase and gnaw.
How about some antler's and a red nose?
The kids will love that dog's raindeer pose."
"Mark, better not forget the food,
He's already chewed your Italian shoes !!

Reformed Catholic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reformed Catholic said...

OK .. I'm on a roll.


Mark went off to buy dog food,
then to the mall to get some shoes.
Came back home to another surprise,
a kitten that Gerry found outside.
"Poor thing was meowing proudly,
outside the neighbor's front door, and loudly.
Neighbor said she's allergic to cats,
Temps dropping fast, he'll freeze in that.
Mark, I had to bring him in,
he'll get along fine with dachie & kin.


Some of that is based on an actual story ;)

ceemac said...

Not a verse or even a line

but I'm getting a picture in my mind of cat, dachie, mark, gerry and the rest joining together for a chorus of "pets need christmas too".... maybe someone can run with that

and are you sure the egg nog was non alcoholic?

Rev Kim said...

Mark then noticed the dachsie's girth,
Holy cow, soon she's going to give birth!
Must prepare for this coming litter,
How 'bout some bling, they'll really glitter!
Through the din, a knock at the door,
There stood shoeless Susie, so poor!
"Sir, can you help my family and me,
We have naught, not even a tree.
Needy children without, and puppies a'coming within;
Mark wondered, is there room at my inn?

Reformed Catholic said...

Actually, I had a thought about Mark buying his shoes, and tying that in to the 'Christmas Shoes', sappy song, but couldn't make it work ;)

Presbyterian Gal said...

Don't know what else will happen, but here's an ender when you need one......or not:

Now Mark and Gerald Engel sing
Glory to this "animal" thing
Let's give Susie the Italian shoes,
Cause her feet are singin' the blues
No more Santa pants to wear
soaked by kids from here to there
Another season we've survived
Lucky to still just be alive
We, Mark and Gerald Engel sing,
Glory to the whole darned thing!!!!