Motion to Reconsider Denial of Certiorari in the case of NTP vs. RIM Popularly Known as the Blackberry Lawsuit
To The Honorable Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States:
Comes now Quotidian Grace, on behalf of herself and others similarly situated, and on behalf of the members of Blackberry Anonymous, specifically including El Jefe, Mondo-Blackberry user, and others similarly situated, and files this Motion to Reconsider Denial of Certiorari on the following grounds:
1. Whereas the Blackberry has become as necessary as water, food and air to countless Blackberry addicts in the legal, medical, business, entertainment and financial industries; and
2. Whereas the threat of disruption of Blackberry service to the afore-mentioned industries will cause loss of instant communication between critical personnel in these economic sectors resulting in massive dislocation to the US economy; and
3. Whereas these same critical personnel, such as El Jefe, will not be able to be available to their clients/patients/ customers on a 24 hour basis, or set up lunch dates, golf dates, email jokes and instantly check sports scores wherever they are resulting in angst, pain and suffering; and
4. Whereas there is not yet a reliable cure for the known Blackberry addiction so that disruption of service will also impact their long suffering spouses such as QG and children such as Portia and Babs; and
5. Whereas when the Supreme Court makes a decision that affects me personally, then the Court has stopped preaching and gone to meddling;
Therefore, Plaintiffs respectfully pray that this Honorable Court set aside its previous denial of certiorari in this case and agree to hear and decide this patent dispute between the parties so that Blackberry service will not cease next week and the parties have more time to settle this dispute in a way that will enable service to continue.
To The Honorable Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States:
Comes now Quotidian Grace, on behalf of herself and others similarly situated, and on behalf of the members of Blackberry Anonymous, specifically including El Jefe, Mondo-Blackberry user, and others similarly situated, and files this Motion to Reconsider Denial of Certiorari on the following grounds:
1. Whereas the Blackberry has become as necessary as water, food and air to countless Blackberry addicts in the legal, medical, business, entertainment and financial industries; and
2. Whereas the threat of disruption of Blackberry service to the afore-mentioned industries will cause loss of instant communication between critical personnel in these economic sectors resulting in massive dislocation to the US economy; and
3. Whereas these same critical personnel, such as El Jefe, will not be able to be available to their clients/patients/ customers on a 24 hour basis, or set up lunch dates, golf dates, email jokes and instantly check sports scores wherever they are resulting in angst, pain and suffering; and
4. Whereas there is not yet a reliable cure for the known Blackberry addiction so that disruption of service will also impact their long suffering spouses such as QG and children such as Portia and Babs; and
5. Whereas when the Supreme Court makes a decision that affects me personally, then the Court has stopped preaching and gone to meddling;
Therefore, Plaintiffs respectfully pray that this Honorable Court set aside its previous denial of certiorari in this case and agree to hear and decide this patent dispute between the parties so that Blackberry service will not cease next week and the parties have more time to settle this dispute in a way that will enable service to continue.
Respectfully submitted,
Quotidian Grace, Esq, pro se
and on behalf of members of Blackberry Anonymous
8 comments:
This is great.
So this is why Blackberrys are in the news. Thank you for amusingly illustrating the problem.
Ohhhhhhhhh, I just love lawyer talk! And, like Songbird, I understand the issue better.
That has to be a first - lawyer talk that made the issue more understandable! ha ha!
This is a great post!
Is this something for us to vote on at Annual Conference?
LOL
..and how will my boss reach me at 2 in the squeakin' MORNING if they turn off my Blackberry? And how will one of my colleagues send me a bad statement of personal theology (you know the kind I mean) with a header containing 224 names if they turn off my BlackBerry? and how will I get those ads for personal "enhancement" and those rgeat opportunities to invest in unpaid accounts payable for government contracts in Nigeria?
Oh, the horror! Oh, the humanity!
Grace, I just saw this. You might enjoy it.
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