Recently I've been involved in a distressing email experience that reminds me that this medium, while convenient, has significant limitations. I can't discuss this particular incident on the blog, but it is representative of problems that I have encountered in the past.
Email is a ubiquitous tool these days. It enables us to respond to others at our convenience. It is often helpful to have questions and answers in writing to refer to later. But because it is solely a written form of communication, and one that has lapses between responses, misunderstandings and hard words linger much longer than they would verbally.
If you get into a discussion of an issue with someone you can quickly and easily clarify what you meant if you are misunderstood. You can also use your tone of voice to create an atmosphere conducive to a civil exchange of ideas or disagreements. You can't do any of that in emails--harsh written words impact others more significantly than spoken ones. You can go back and read them again and again so that their force is magnified.
Push away from the computer and go to the phone, or hop in the car and visit personally with someone whenever your email exchanges start to be problematic. Don't keep emailing, that only makes it worse.
Here endeth my lesson for today, friends.
Email is a ubiquitous tool these days. It enables us to respond to others at our convenience. It is often helpful to have questions and answers in writing to refer to later. But because it is solely a written form of communication, and one that has lapses between responses, misunderstandings and hard words linger much longer than they would verbally.
If you get into a discussion of an issue with someone you can quickly and easily clarify what you meant if you are misunderstood. You can also use your tone of voice to create an atmosphere conducive to a civil exchange of ideas or disagreements. You can't do any of that in emails--harsh written words impact others more significantly than spoken ones. You can go back and read them again and again so that their force is magnified.
Push away from the computer and go to the phone, or hop in the car and visit personally with someone whenever your email exchanges start to be problematic. Don't keep emailing, that only makes it worse.
Here endeth my lesson for today, friends.
10 comments:
Grace,
I'm so sorry! I agree that e-mail is such new (relative to the history of human communication) medium that we haven't even begun to figure out the ettiquette and norms that should govern its use. I've had some communication breakdown disasters that would not have happened with a face to face or a phone call.
Me, too. Your advice is well worth taking.
I totally agree! It has happened to me 2 times in the last 2 weeks. Instant messenger is just as bad.
You are indeed wise, Grace.
Isn't it true that wisdom is born of difficult experiences? Thanks for reminding us of these words of wisdom.
Yup -- it happens. And the crazy thing is you kinda know, or see it starting and can't quite prevent just sending that one more...surely it will be the one to clarify the situation and have everyone thinking my way.... or at least that was how it happened for me the one real doosie of a time that I still remember. I still feel badly about it too.
I think I'll post your words about "just push away from the computer" in a spot to remind me of the temporal satisfaction of sending that "just one more".
true wise words, but hard too.
blessings, hope it is resolved by the grace o fGod
Wisdom...
I've had several occassions with two seperate parishioners who ask me questions and then when I answer the emails, they evidently hear something very different from what I thought I said.
When speaking, we hear people's tone. And when we type, we hear our own. But when we read, I think we hear our own as well. So it can be taken quite the wrong way.
communication IS difficult. I do hear differently sometimes. I think we all do.
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