Monday, December 08, 2008

Third Annual Sappy Christmas Song Contest

Are you already driven crazy by "Jingle Bells"? Is "The Little Drummer Boy" playing on an endless loop in your brain? Nauseated by "The Christmas Shoes"? Does the country western carol "Please, Daddy, Don't Get Drunk For Christmas (I Don't Wanna See My Mama Cry)" drive you to distraction?

Take action! You know you can do better! In the spirit of the Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Competition, QG offers you the opportunity to win (virtual) prizes and internet fame by submitting the sappiest possible lyrics to complete our Sappy Christmas Song 2008 Version.

Submit your entry in the comments. I will post periodic updates of the entire song as it evolves into the sappiest, most sentimental song no one would ever want to hear.

Presbyterian Gal graciously agreed to kick off the competition by contributing the opening stanza. Our theme this year is Santa's Bailout. Thanks, PG! You're the best!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, start your keyboards---here is the first stanza. Take it away!

It’s the eleventh hour on Christmas Eve,
the north pole stars are all a’twinkle.

But Santa Claus just looks like hell

as he wishes for Rip Van Winkle.
He lost all his operating capital
trusting CFO elves Fannie and Freddy.

Paulson turned him down with an evil sneer
Now at midnight he won’t be ready…..

UPDATE: Be sure to check out Stushie's original song in the comments to the tune of everyone's "favorite" Little Drummer Boy--it's about Hummers!

I don't think I made it clear that the idea is that commenters add verses, stanzas or refrains to the beginning stanza until the Sappy Christmas Song is completed. Now, back to the contest!


Stushie said...

Hummer we bought thee,
We thought it was fun.
Two miles a gallon,
An ev’ry day run.
Then gas and oil spiked,
Made ev’rything glum
No one can buy them now
And let the pump run,
Let the pump run,
Let the pump run.
GM needs bailouts now,
To let the wheels turn,
Me and my Humm.

Stushie said...

Oops...forgot to add :To the Tune of the Little Drummer Boy...

Quotidian Grace said...

That's a great one, Stushie!

You'll get a special award for it, too.

However, the contest is so that everyone adds their own verses to the first stanza in order to complete the song.

Would you like to add a stanza or some verses to PG's Santa Needs a Bailout?