Book Reviews: The Alto Wore Tweed and The Baritone Wore Chiffon

The Alto Wore Tweed and The Baritone Wore Chiffon
are two "liturgical mysteries" that offer hilarious sendups of modern church life and the detective story literary genre.

I had just finished The Alto before going to the Synod meeting and took The Baritone with me, finishing it on the plane while it circled for an hour over Houston. Tears of laughter were running down my face as the plane bumped around over a rainstorm. It was just what the doctor ordered to lift my mood!

The protagonist of the series is Hayden Konig, part-time choir director and full time police detective in a small North Carolina mountain town. He calls himself a "liturgical detective." The author has been a church musician himself, and it shows.

Between the two books I've howled in laughter over the satiric depiction of a Re-imagining Conference for Wimmyn Priests; a Clown Eucharist; the Feng Shui Altar Guild; the Edible Last Supper featuring the Mary Magdalene Coffee bar; the Penguin at the Manger and --drumroll please--The Weasel Cantata.

Sample lyrics from The Weasel Cantata (from The Baritone Wore Chiffon):

'The Weasel Cantata, it's not a sonata
You cannot eat weasel, though it may taste fine
Or lizards or vermin, 'cause they commence to squirmin'

Leviticus: eleven, verse twenty nine."

What more can I say? I've ordered the rest of the books in the series and recommend them as just the thing to restore your mental/emotional equilibrium after church meetings of any type.

Next Steps

The "Next Steps" event at Synod drew representatives from all the presbyteries of the Synod of the Sun for a couple of days of discussing the events of General Assembly and anticipated responses from our churches. The four of us from New Covenant were guilty of coveting our neighbor's Presbytery Building: the Presbyterian Center in Dallas is a gleaming, well-equipped new building which is a far cry from our poor-but-proud center in Houston with the duct-taped carpet.

Nothing of note transpired in the discussions. Predictably, there were calls for more "listening to each other", as if listening and understanding the deeply held division of viewpoint would somehow restore unity.

Tuesday morning I met with the "Outside the Box" small group. Members of that group expressed frustration that the structure of the GA does not provide for ways to address the continuing decline of the denomination. I did have a chance to float an idea that I've been kicking around with El Jefe and it got some traction. What if we put together a group of 10 pastors with a demonstrated track record of growing churches and making disciples and asked them to put together recommendations about how the denomination could support and enable its churches to focus on making disciples--by re-allocating resources, changing denominational priorities and staffing patterns, and changing denominational structures? I don't know who should serve on such a group, but I'm sure there are ways to find out.

One of the small groups was "Separation Without Division." That group reported that they believed that separation without division describes the situation in the denomination today. That has huge implications, but it is impossible to specifically project what those implications are at this point.

I try to stay positive when I post about the PCUSA, but I'm not feeling very positive after this meeting. I don't think anyone else did either.

Off To Synod Meeting

I'm off to Dallas this morning to attend the Synod of the Sun's "Next Steps" meeting in Dallas today and tomorrow. If there's anything of interest to report, I'll do it when I return.

Have a lovely Monday and Tuesday!

Friday Five: God Days of Summer

Presbyterian Gal brings us today's RevGals Friday Five and it's all about looking for the God Days of summer. She says:

"As I pass through this year’s dog days in my felon ridden neighborhood (OK, just two housefuls. But isn’t that enough?), I am trying to focus on the blessings apparent around me, past and present, that I might not notice, necessarily. In that spirit, this week’s Friday Five goes thusly:"

1. What is your sweetest summer memory from childhood? Did it involve watermelon or hand cranked ice cream? Or perhaps a teen summer romance. Which stands out for you?

On hot summer afternoons in San Antonio my mother took the four of us to the swimming pool. There was nothing better than swimming and diving in that cool water and then going home for dinner followed by trying to catch lightning bugs in the yard.

2. Describe your all time favorite piece of summer clothing. The one thing you could put on in the summer that would seem to insure a cooler, more excellent day.

My swimming suit!

3. What summer food fills your mouth with delight and whose flavor stays happily with you long after eaten?

Watermelon. Love it.

4. Tell us about the summer vacation or holiday that holds your dearest memory.

The summer of 1985, we were all together at a beach house in Galveston for a few days. Portia and Babs were four and two years old. Daddy left to go back to San Antonio a day or so before we went home. (My mother had not come with him.)

On our drive away from Galveston I burst into tears and told El Jefe that I had a strong feeling that Daddy would not come to Galveston again. This seemed crazy because he was in excellent health, but he died suddenly on New Year's Eve of that same year and in fact did not come to Galveston again. Sadly, El Jefe's mother was diagnosed with the cancer the following year and died also. So 1985 was the last summer all of our parents were still with us.

5. Have you had any experience(s) this summer that has drawn you closer to God or perhaps shown you His wonder in a new way?

See photo above of dawn breaking over the bay as seen from the porch of our place there. It's an amazing "Holy Holy Holy" moment every time.

Bonus question: When it is really hot, humid and uncomfortable, what do you do to refresh and renew body and spirit?

Go swimming and eat watermelon. And maybe have a frozen margarita instead of one on the rocks.

Thanks, Presbyterian Gal!

Osteens In Court

As your faithful, albeit self-appointed, correspondent on All Things Osteen, it is my duty to report that the civil lawsuit brought against Victoria Osteen (co-pastor of Lakewood Church) by the flight attendant she allegedly shoved goes to court in Houston today. Victoria has already paid a fine to the FAA in connection with the incident. Joel is expected to testify.

The flight attendant says the incident caused her to have "anxiety and hemorrhoids" and that it affected her faith. I'll bet. (Bad QG!) Osteen's attorney is the most renowned criminal defense attorney in the city, so I guess she thought she needed more than God on her side. (naughty QG--cut it out!)

I'll keep you posted.

Update note: I forgot to include the hemorroids allgegation when I first posted. Thanks to commenter Questing Parson for pointing that out!

Never Mind...

Edouard came onshore earlier and a bit farther east than expected. All we're seeing here in Sugar Land is a light rain, which we desperately need. The local TV stations are still All Edouard All The Time despite the fact that all those disaster declarations were (ahem) somewhat premature. And we're grateful for that!

Since Babs has the day off, we're thinking about spending the afternoon at the movies. Maybe Mamma Mia? Although El Jefe is staying home to work, he refuses to come with us saying that "its shameful to go to the movies on a workday." Whatever.

Edouard's On The Way

Signs that Tropical Storm Edouard is heading for Houston:

• Portia's office closed this afternoon and will be closed tomorrow
• Babs' clinic will be closed tomorrow
• El Jefe's law firm is considering being closed tomorrow (neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night etc!)
  
• Sugar Land canceled trash pickup for tomorrow
• M.D. Anderson (the cancer center) re-scheduled my SIL's MIL's chemo from tomorrow to next Tuesday
• Local TV went into All Edouard All The Time mode about 3 pm
• Digital Highway signs are flashing: Hurricane Forming In the Gulf! Fill up your gas tanks!
  

Favorite TV Weatherperson quote so far :
"It could be not so bad, or maybe not."

Things I am grateful for:

• It is not a hurricane
• We're on the "good side" of it
• St. Betty stocked up on white wine
• I've got plenty of tequila and margarita mix
  
• Babs came to stay with us until it is all over
• I still have lots of water left from last year's hurricane season
• There will be no mass exodus from the Houston area this time
• Our power lines are buried in the ground
  

Another Nomination For the PNC Battle of the Bands

It's not often that the processional at an installation of a pastor features "When The Saints Go Marching In", led by a triangle player and banjos.

The church where the installation took place is A Community of the Servant-Savior, a small but lively congregation in southeast Houston.

Instead of a choir, the church has a small orchestra. The orchestra uses banjos, triangles, gourds, electric guitars, brass and reed instruments to play praise songs and hymns. When we sang "Standing in the Light of God", a young girl passed out gourds to the congregation so we could play and sing along with them.

Methinks I have another nomination for the presbytery Battle of the Bands!

Heads Up for Edouard

Edouard may be coming this way.

Here's hoping it stays a Tropical Storm!

Battening down the hatches,

QG

PresbyBloggers Re-Inventing Themselves

The Presbyterian Bloggers webring is re-inventing itself!

A group of the bloggers have been working to set up weekly features for the ring website and hope to encourage broader participation and develop a sense of community. Our new Moderator, Rev. Bruce Reyes-Chow has agreed to participate in a monthly "Ask The Moderator" post. Thanks, Bruce!

I've agreed to co-host the weekly Thursday feature we're calling "Read and Learn". Plans are to set up an online book club (similar to the one at the RevGals) and offer book, movie, TV, and magazine article reviews as well as suggestions for adult study groups. Contributions and suggestions from fellow PresbyBloggers will be most welcome.

Here's the rest of the proposed schedule, which is still a work in progress and subject to change:

Sunday

Weekly Devotion

Monday
Member Blog Meet & Greet

Tuesday

Personal Faith Experiences

Wednesday
Joyful News on Ministry

Thursday

Read and Learn

Friday
1st: Ask Moderator Rev. Bruce Reyes-Chow

2nd: Ask the Experienced Pastor

3rd: Ask the Elder Elder

4th: Get to Know Meme

Saturday
Chewing on the Word: Lectionary Ruminations

Woo-hoo!

Beatrice Blogs: Olivia 1, Snakes 0, Crabs O

Woof!

The last couple of days Olivia and I have been down at the bay house. Olivia is finally learning to hunt!

Yesterday she tracked down a sand crab and dispatched it.

Then she sniffed out a small garter snake and whipped it around just like I showed her! When the snake was dead, she took it to the edge of the water and dropped it in. I told her not to eat the thing and she didn't.

We're all very proud.

Woof.

Love, Beatrice

QG's Best Praise Song Ever

Whole Lotta Installin' Goin' On

Here's a map showing the locations of the churches where installations of new pastors have been scheduled in the months of July and August. As you can see, there's a whole lotta installin' goin' on in the Presbytery of New Covenant this summer.

I've been to west Houston, central Houston and I'm going to Webster, east central Houston, Angleton and Lufkin (so far northeast that it is off this map!)

Boy, am I happy I bought that GPS gadget for El Jefe for Christmas and he insisted I should keep it in MY car!

More About Dutch

Ten years ago, El Jefe and I made a trip to his hometown of Borger, Texas, with Portia, Babs and his father Dutch in tow. El Jefe made a point of taking the road from Amarillo to the town of Panhandle, and then following the trail that Dutch followed back in the 1920's when the Harrington family moved to what was then the boomtown of Borger -- a muddy hole full of tents, oil roustabouts, prostitutes and gamblers. It was one of the last of the Wild West towns.

Young Dutch led the family into town on a Shetland pony. His mother, father, and three older brothers were traveling by horse and wagon from the railroad depot at Panhandle to their new home. Dutch was in his early eighties when we made this trip and was able to tell the story to his granddaughters and show them where the family camped in the little ridges that were called "hills" there on the high plains of the Texas Panhandle.

Dutch's father began his oilfield trucking business in the twenties using teams of horses and wagons. Dutch and his brothers continued the business after WWII using trucks to haul large pieces of oilfield equipment around North Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado and Kansas.

Dutch never liked horses, but he loved all things mechanical. He enlisted in the Army Air Corps and trained as an aerial engineer and top gunner on the B-17. A typical member of the "Greatest Generation", Dutch returned to his hometown and family business after the war and devoted himself to his family and his family's business. He continued to fly until the fateful day when he and his buddy flew into some power lines and El Jefe's mother put her foot down, insisting that it was time to quit flying.

Dutch was a City Commissioner, a member of the Tax Equalization Board and the county Airport Zoning Board back in the day. When a new subdivision was built, a road was named in his honor. Dutch was famous for insisting that the local police not engage in high-speed chases through town, saying it was better for a miscreant to get away than for innocent citizens to be injured or killed by this dangerous practice.

When my grandmother died in 1996 at age 98, I was struck by the incredible changes that she lived through--from WWI to Operation Desert Storm, from early phonographs to cable television, from Model T's to rocket ships, and from handwritten letters to instant email around the world. Dutch lived through most of the same changes that she did. The world he was born into was very different from the world when he died. It makes me wonder what future changes lie ahead for me.

Dutch was blessed with unfailing good humor, unconditional love for his wife, children and grandchildren, and the devotion of his daughter and son-in-law who cared for him in their home until the day he died. What a wonderful life he had. What a blessing he was to all of us.

Thank you, Lord.

And thanks to all of you for your sympathetic comments on my previous post!

Farewell to Dutch

Claude Marion Harrington
April 3, 1916-July 21, 2008

El Jefe's father, our beloved "Dutch", passed away yesterday afternoon. He was 92. A memorial service celebrating his life will be held Friday at 2 pm at Memorial Drive Presbyterian Church, Houston.

More later--blogging will be light this week.

Yankee or Dixie Quiz

El Jefe sent me the Yankee or Dixie Quiz, which evaluates what dialect of American English you speak.

To his chagrin, he scored 45% YANKEE. Must be all those years arguing with New York lawyers.

QG, on the other hand, scored 63% DIXIE.

It's a short, interesting quiz. Try it here and let me know how you scored in the comments.

QG's First Sermon

Tomorrow is the day!

I'm preaching here, and I decided to follow the pastor's suggestion and preach on the vision of the presbytery which is: "Growing congregations that passionately engage their communities to make disciples."

One of the problems I have always had with vision and mission statements is that, in my experience, after lots of time and effort is spent in developing them they become slogans for the website and stationery rather than a guide for the future. Although I think that our presbytery's committees have tried to use the vision statement as a guide, our congregations are not aware of it or how the presbytery proposes to help them "engage their communities to make disciples." This is a great opportunity to talk about this evangelistic vision with this congregation. Thanks, Howard!

Here's the outline for my sermon: using scripture from Nehemiah (Ezra the priest reads the books of the law to the returned exiles) and Luke (Jesus sends the disciples out to make more disciples), I talk about how we have to equip our congregations by reading and studying the Bible and then we have to go out into the community rather than expecting people to come to us in order to make disciples.

Presbytery has two programs to support congregations in these efforts. We have a team of Vision Consultants who will come work with a congregation to help them discern how they are being called to engage their communities, we have a Vision Initatives Grant program to help fund creative ideas that fulfill our vision and we have 16 New Church Developments (and counting!). I'll give examples of some of the recent grants so the congregation can get an idea of the different types of things other churches are doing.

I'm emphasizing that making disciples is about forming relationships with others--so it depends on each one of us, it's not something that presbytery can do for us. I'm using some examples from the books Take This Bread by Sara Miles and Just Walk Across the Room by Bill Hybels as illustrations.

My favorite part of getting to preach is that I get to choose the hymns! We're going to sing "Ye Servants of God Your Master Proclaim", "Lord Speak To Me" and "Lift High The Cross."

Thanks to lots of encouragement from friends and family (and the Holy Spirit, no doubt!), I'm over being nervous about stepping out of my comfort zone and into the pulpit and looking forward to tomorrow.

Time For Some Campaignin'

A timely reminder to keep it all in perspective from our friends at JibJab.

This is so fun because you can put your own picture in the clip! Check out the last few seconds and you'll see QG being thrown about by every wind of (political) doctrine!

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

Book Review: Year Of Living Biblically

Here's a book that really defies description. The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs records the quest of the author to follow as literally as possible all the commandments and rules in both the Old and New Testament. I think I saw this on the overstock shelves at Barnes and Noble.

It reminded me of Eat, Pray, Love in that both books were conceived as projects by their authors and then sold to publishers before the authors began eating, praying and loving or living Biblically. I think this makes the experiences they recount less authentic because the authors seem to force the experience to fit the proposal they gave their publishers.

I will say that I thought TYOLB was much less contrived than Eat, Pray, Love and more entertaining. The author is an agnostic Jew, who found himself sometimes surprised to make the connections with his ancestors in the rituals that he was following. A. J. Jacobs is witty and sincere in his analysis of how his feelings about God evolved as a result of his experiment.

But don't get excited: he didn't evolve much. He concludes the book by saying he is still an agnostic, but a "reverent" agnostic. He's not sure there is a God, but does believe there is such a thing as sacredness and he plans to continue observing the Sabbath, wearing more white clothes and saying prayers of thanksgiving (although he's not sure who he's thanking).

According to the author's website, the book will be made into a movie. It will be interesting to see if it becomes just a comedy and if the ending will be changed so that the protagonist becomes a believer.

Project Peepway

I'd Like to Thank Presbyterian Gal....

Presbyterian Gal gave me this lovely "She's So Artistic Award" along with kind compliments that left me blushing and truly grateful for her friendship.

This is one of those awards that come with the responsibility to pass it around. Here are the rules:

1) Pick five blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of Arte Y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award -- which is here: Arte Y Pico.

I'm all in favor of mutual encouragement, so here are my 5 nominees:

1. Presbyterian Gal her own self. Although she has already had this award from one blogger, she gets it from me as well for her lively and creative writing, her unique voice, her fascinating life and her strong Christian and Presbyterian witness. Really, who else writes such wonderful stories on her blog? I hate it when she is on vacation!

2. Gannet Girl of Search The Sea. One of my early PresbyBlogPals, GG regularly posts wonderful photos of nature that she takes. As a former attorney, teacher in a Jewish school, and now as a progressive seminarian at a conservative Presbyterian seminary, her blog is full of interesting anecdotes and reflections.

3. Stushie of Heaven's Highway and Presbyterian Bloggers. Stushie regularly posts beautiful glass art projects of his own design and sometimes cartoons! He is a Presbyterian pastor in Tennessee and I also enjoy his posts on all things Presby.

4. Rachel of Skewed View. Presbyterian Gal already nominated her, but I have to second the motion. She has a killer wit and her regular Friday Cemetery Photo feature is something I always look forward to.

5. Jan Edmiston of A Church For Starving Artists. Jan writes thought-provoking posts about the emerging church in the PCUSA and always illustrates them with beautiful and appropriate graphics.

So those are my nominees: Four Presbies and a Baptist! Don't say I'm not diverse...

Different Take on the "Grace" Cake

Recently my SIL made a White Texas Sheet cake that the whole family gobbled right up. It's really just the Texas Chocolate Sheet Cake that the RevGals know and love as the "Grace" Cake--but without the chocolate.

I whipped it up this morning because I'm expecting a bit of company over the weekend. It's delicious and seems more summery than the original version. I've seen some recipes for this that include pineapple--but I prefer my pineapple fresh not baked in a cake. Here's the recipe:

WHITE TEXAS SHEET CAKE

1 cup butter
1 cup water
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups white sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup milk
4 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1 cup chopped nuts-- I used slivered almonds and toasted them first!

In a large saucepan, bring 1 cup butter or margarine and water to a boil. Remove from heat, and stir in flour, sugar, eggs, sour cream, 1 teaspoon almond extract, and baking soda until smooth. Pour batter into a greased 10 x 15 x 1 inch baking pan.

Bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) for 20 to 22 minutes, or until cake is golden brown and tests done. Cool for 20 minutes.

Combine 1/2 cup butter or margarine and milk in a saucepan; bring to a boil. Remove from heat.

Mix in sugar and 1/2 teaspoon almond extract. Spread frosting over warm cake. Sprinkle nuts on top.

Makes 1 - 10 x 15 x 1 inch sheet cake that serves a big crowd!

Marking Houston

New Bulletin From QG's Bureau of Houston Religious Oddities:

Picture two giant 200 foot tall structures consisting of a cross perched on a globe of the world riding on a smaller chapel-like structure marking the entrances to the city of Houston on the north and south sides of Interstate Highway 45. That's the vision of Grace Community Church, a megachurch of about 12,000 members with two campuses in those locations.

The World's Largest Cross is the Cross at the Crossroads in Effingham, Illinois, measuring a mere 198 feet. Of course, the Texas crosses will be TALLER! Everything's bigger here, right?

See this morning's front page Houston Chronicle story.

Here's the description of the Cross Project from the church's website. Interestingly this page describes the crosses as being only 150 feet high.

Reactions to the plan from non-Christian groups as reported by the Chronicle were surprisingly supportive. A Hindu spokesman said "all religions are related to truth. So if you see a form of religious structure, treat it as a structure of God and move ahead with it." The Muslim spokesman said the US "is a land that promotes marketing of ideas. Muslims have the right to put billboards up that say 'Call 1-800-Why-Islam?' I have seen that in other cities. If Muslims can do that, Christians can put up a large cross, too."

Apparently the FAA may have to get involved in limiting the height of the proposed cross on the south side of town because it is near an airfield.

Since the pastor of Grace Community Church expressed a hope that ultimately there would be one of these crosses at every entrance into Houston, I'm wondering if some day we'll see one near our house on the Southwest Freeway.

Without "Vision"

So I'm thinking that since I've been asked to preach about the vision of the presbytery that a good Old Testament reading for the service would be "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Proverbs 29:18.

Uhm. Not so fast, QG.

I couldn't find these exact words in my NIV or NRSV, so when I went over to an online Bible search engine, I found the following:

When there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint (NIV and New King James)

Where there is no prophesy, the people cast off restraint (NRSV)
Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained (New American--at least it used the word "vision"!)

If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves (The Message)

Apparently the old King James translation is the only one that says "Where there is no vision the people perish."

I'm sure this church uses the NRSV for its pulpit Bible. Sigh.

Don't you just hate when this happens? Back to the drawing board....grumble, grumble.

Preacher For A Day

A week from Sunday Yours Truly will be preaching at one of the churches in our presbytery. The pastor who asked me to come wants me to talk about our presbytery's vision statement: Growing congregations that passionately engage their communities in making disciples.

I've never preached before, though I have often served as a lay leader. (For my non-PresbyReaders, in the PCUSA both elders and pastors can preach in worship.) Although I am comfortable speaking in public, when I teach adult Sunday School classes I use an interactive, Socratic style rather than a lecture. It will be a challenge to come up with a 15 to 20 minute sermon that doesn't sound like an attorney's closing statement!

If I hadn't been asked to preach on this specific subject, I would have followed the lectionary and used one of those texts as the theme of the sermon. But that's not an option, so I have to come up with the scriptures. And the hymns. And some other liturgical stuff. But I don't have the go-byes that pastors have, so I'll be all over the 'net looking for appropriate calls to worship, benedictions, charges etc.

This is sure to deepen my appreciation for you pastors who do this every week. And I'll get to join the Saturday Preachers' Party at RevGals, not as a lurker, but as Preacher For A Day!

Beatrice Blogs: My 4th of July

WOOF! Beatrice here. While Mom is cleaning up in the kitchen after Portia, DK and Babs came for dinner tonight, I thought I'd tell you about my adventures this 4th of July weekend.

We all went down to Port Alto. Olivia came with us because Portia and DK were visiting his parents for the weekend. We had a great time! SIL's bulldog Duchess was there for us to pester. Plus there were lots of other dogs since it was a big holiday. Olivia took out after a boxer and was the worse for it, so every time I saw that dog I'd give it what for.

Friday afternoon there were a bunch of little boys playing baseball with their dads. They had these great plastic balls with holes that I could really get my teeth into! The dad who was pitching let me play shortstop. That was really fun. The dad said he was afraid I'd be too short to make the big K9 League, but what does he know?

I'm as patriotic as the next dachshund, but let me tell you that the fireworks were way too loud for me and Olivia. We got really upset so QG and El Jefe had to sit with us in the bedroom with the windows closed and the TV on to distract us. When they heard there would be even more fireworks on the next evening, they decided to take us home.

Thank you! We had a nice nap in the car and have been recovering from running around, sniffing, taking boat rides, being petted by toddlers and generally adored by all the grown-ups.

Olivia just went home, so I'm ready for a nice evening nap now. Whew! It's hard being a dog sometimes.

Love, Beatrice

Happy Fourth of July

O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern, impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness

America, America, God mend thine ev'ry flaw
Confirm thy soul
In self-control
Thy liberty in law!

Book Review: Take This Bread

First a confession. When I read about this book, I was put off by some of the reviews and had decided not to read it, even though it was a RevGalBookPals selection a short time ago. Then a friend at church who is in my BSD book study this summer enthusiastically recommended it to our group. So I thought there was a reason this book kept coming across my radar screen and I ought to take a hint and give it a try, despite my reservations.

I'm glad I did.

Sara Miles is a very gifted writer. She also has a spiritual sensitivity that I envy because I sure don't have it.

One of the reasons I avoided reading the book earlier was because, frankly, I am weary of reading spiritual memoirs that spend as much time bashing Republicans and the Bush administration as on religious experience. You know what I mean--the kind where True Christianity and the Liberal/Progressive/Democratic party are equated. Anne Lamott is the poster girl for this genre.

And, by the way, I don't read conservative/evangelical books that make the same mistake in the other direction, either. If I want to read about politics and national/international policy, I will choose a political book. Although Sara Miles and I are "miles" apart in many ways (couldn't resist the pun!), she is no Anne Lamott. But I was not so put off by our differences that I could not appreciate what she had to say.

Take This Bread is, as advertised, a truly remarkable story of conversion. You can see how God worked in the author's life, weaving together seemingly disparate threads that brought her to faith: her grandparent's legacy; her experiences as a journalist and political activist; and her skill in cooking and restaurant management.

My BSD friend in recommending the book pointed out the fact that the author didn't know any Christians before she walked into that church and had her conversion experience.

What does that say about us? How many of us know people who are not Christian and if we do, are they aware of our faith? It was a stark reminder of how we all tend to stay in our comfort zones--Christians with like-minded Christians, atheists with each other, Republicans with Republicans and Democrats with Democrats--and that Christ calls us to leave those comfort zones so the Holy Spirit can go to work.

I recommend this book, if you haven't read it already. Take it, read it and then pass it around.

We'll Try This With Beatrice and Olivia

A Visitation

Last week as I sat meditating over my laptop...LO! The Angel of the Mac appeared before me and prophesied unto me, saying:

"See QG, the keyboard before you worketh not. For no matter how hard you press the "B" key, it speaketh not unto the hard drive. And behold, your password screweth up and the Angel of the Hard Drive will not let you pass all because of the worthless "B" key."

"Speak, O Angel of the Mac," I pleaded. "Speak and I will hear you. Tell me what I should do and I will obey you."

But the Angel of the Mac replied, " Try, QG, try the "T" key and see what it portends."

I pressed the "T" key and it stuck. And stuck. And stuck.

"QG, go thou unto thine utility drawer and seek a pointed stick that thou mayest release the "T" key from its captivity," quoth the Angel.

"The key is now released, O Angel," I responded. "But, pray, what does all this mean?"

"Behold, QG, is this not the self-same hard drive that crashed big-time yea only a few short months ago?"

" Yes, O Angel."

"Dost thou require being hit upside the head with mine flaming sword, QG? What think you ? Thine laptop has but a little while left before it will be recalled to its MacMaker. Hie thee hence unto the Apple Store and replace it before once again you loose your data because you did not heed this warning. Woe be unto you if you do not obey. Blessed be you if you have ears and hear for you will get an IPhone when the new version is sent down from on high."

Suddenly the Angel of the Mac vanished from the room. The Angel of the Hard Drive still would not let my password pass. Who am I to ignore the warnings of the Angel of the Mac? I hied myself to the Apple store and followed the Angel's advice.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. (Doing the happy dance and can't wait for the IPhone!)

Recovering From PresbyFest

Many thanks for the kind words and prayers regarding today's called presbytery meeting. It was designed to be an informational meeting and that goal was achieved. So, thankfully, no Tums was needed at the Moderator's podium.

Our commissioners gave their observations and opinions about various issues that were considered. Questions and comments offered by those in attendance were concerned, respectful, and probing. No action was taken, nor was any action expected at this time.

Casey Jones, the candidate for Stated Clerk from our presbytery (and came in second in the voting) got a standing ovation and much praise and appreciation from all sides for the outstanding way he conducted himself in the election.

Casey suggested the need for community prayer and our General Presbyter agreed, saying that the presbytery would schedule several opportunities for members of presbytery to pray together for God's help and guidance.

I'm done with GA for the moment. In the next few days I plan to intentionally NOT thinking, fretting, or analyzing what went on there and what may happen next and turn my attention elsewhere. Sometimes we need to clear our minds so the Holy Spirit will have room to work, don't you find?

Friday Evening GA Update

PresbyFriends, GA continued to meet until almost midnight last night. Here's my summary of significant actions taken in the evening session:

Definition of Marriage Not Changed--In the most contentious debate of the evening, the recommendation of the Church Polity Committee that an overture to redefine marriage as between "two people" be disapproved was adopted. Civil rights for same sex couples and "gracious response" to congregations departing the PCUSA were also adopted. Full story from PNS here.

Peace Making. Recommendations from the Peace and International Issues Committee were approved, including “responsibly” bringing the troops home from Iraq, continuing peacemaking in Israel and Palestine and supporting human rights in Zimbabwe, the Philippines, North Korea and Columbia. This was another lengthy and sometimes contentious debate, and I had to question why we would spend so much time on issues the GA has scant influence over and so little time on debating and taking actions that would help make new disciples, build new congregations and churches and re-develop struggling ones. But that's just me. Full story from PNS here.

New Social Creed Adopted-- From the Social Justice Issues Committee, this new social creed calls for equal pay for comparable work, protection from dangerous working conditions, criminal rehabilitation through restorative justice, an end to the death penalty, tax and budget policies that reduce disparities between rich and poor, affordable housing, sustainable use of resources and just immigration policies. Full story from PNS here.

Tomorrow there is a called presbytery meeting scheduled to hear the report from our New Covenant commissioners to GA. (For those of you in New Covenant who want to attend, that will be 3 pm at Pines Presbyterian Church, Houston.) We'll have a lot to talk about.

Ordination Standards to Go to Presbyteries

Ordination Standard Change to Go to Presbyteries for Vote:

From the Presbyterian Outlook:

"Commissioners to the 218th General Assembly have voted to change the denomination’s constitution to approve the ordination of gay and lesbian persons, a change that will require ratification by a majority of the 173 regional presbyteries over the next year.

Two other actions adopted by the assembly will take effect immediately.

First, the commissioners approved by a vote of 375 to 324 a proposal from the Presbytery of John Knox that allows ordination “examining bodies to give prayerful and careful consideration, on an individual, case-by-case basis, to any departure from an ordination standard in matters of belief or practice that a candidate may declare during examination.” This takes effect immediately.

Second, the commissioners voted to send to the presbyteries for ratification language to replace the present rules that requires those being ordained and/or installed into ordained office to live “in fidelity in a marriage between a man and a woman or chastity in singleness.”

See the full story here.

I think this means that presbyteries now have local option on the issue of gay ordination and if the presbyteries then vote to delete the fidelity-chastity clause then the standard is removed and the issue of local option becomes moot. But I'm not sure, so if anyone can correct my interpretation, please let me know.

Stated Clerk Election

Well, it's not surprising, given the restrictive standing rules for the election of the Stated Clerk, that Rev. Gradye Parsons, the nominee of the Nominating Committee, won the election for Stated Clerk on the first ballot. My preferred candidate, Rev. Casey Jones, came in a distant second.

On the one hand, I regret Casey didn't win, because I think he would have been a wonderful leader for the church. On the other hand, selfishly, I'm happy he's not leaving us for Louisville.

May God bless and guide Rev. Parsons in his new responsibility.

Thursday GA Update

Here are some highlights from yesterday's General Assembly:

FOG: The committee recommended the Form of Government Task Force report be referred to the presbyteries for study and discussion. Also, additional members will be added to the Task Force and they will be asked to review and revise it for the 2010 GA. The expanded FOG will be asked to take into account the comments from presbyteries.

The number of people added to the Task Force will depend on the number of the current members who agree to continue and will be appointed ONLY from the members of the committee that made the recommendation about the FOG Task Force report. This means that members of the New Covenant group that studied the FOG report and wrote an outstanding analysis of it are not eligible to be considered for the expanded Task Force, and neither is anyone else who may is not already on this GA committee. Folks, this sends the wrong message. Here's the PNS story.

FUNDING NCD'S AND CHURCH RE-DEVELOPMENTS: After descending into a parliamentary black hole--what with a reconsideration, an "arrest of the report", and confusion on the floor and on the podium, the original motion from the committee (08-15) passed after the arrested report was bailed out (pardon the pun!) and proposed amendments to it failed. I couldn't find a PNS story about this discussion, though.

MISSION INITIATIVE FUND: PNC pastor Rev. Dave Peterson, MDPC -Houston, addressed the GA to announce the Mission Initiative Fund raised $33 million in pledges for new church development. Dave is co-chair of the effort. Well done! Here's the full story from PNS.

GENERATIVE THINKING: And lastly, I pity the members of the Worship and Spiritual Renewal Committee that was required to use "generative thinking" as an alternative form of decision making instead of the traditional parliamentary committee format. The committee moderator reported that two members walked out of the committee in frustration and did not return and that the whole process was a "learning experience". I just bet it was! What a waste of time and effort -- the rules of parliamentary procedure help form the will of the majority while protecting the voice and input of the minority. "Generative thinking" strikes me as a New Age-y fad and I regret we burdened any of our commissioners with it. Here's the story from PNS on the subject. It seems to me the lesson to be learned is not to mess with this nonsense.

Today the election for Stated Clerk is scheduled. My presbytery's own Rev. Casey Jones is one of the candidates. Casey would be a wonderful Stated Clerk. I'll be watching this later this morning on the streaming video. This is the most important election of the GA.

Musings of a Virtual Presby-Fester

Except for attending my study group and a quick trip to the gym to work on that bum knee, I've spent the day in virtual attendance at GA. The house is very quiet today--just me and the dog since El Jefe is at work and is taking the kids to the baseball game. And that's a good thing since I'm the point person for my presbytery's GA Newsblog as well as my usual stuff here.

First of all, the virtual streaming is working really well for me. Last GA it kept choking out and buffering and timing out. This time it is smooth as glass. The camera work is good. Generally the screen projections have worked well, but just now "Angela" can't seem to find the liturgy they are using for the commissioning of Clif Kirkpatrick as "Stated Clerk Emeritus."

The big debate this afternoon was on the FOG report. Commissioners pulled out a variety of parliamentary moves, but in the end the committee's recommendation was passed. The FOG will go to the presbyteries for comment and the Task Force will be enlarged and asked to revise the report in light of those comments for action at the 2010 GA.

There was a lot of debate about whether and how the FOG report would enable the PCUSA to become more "missional". As one wag pointed out, the entire debate certainly focused the group inward rather than outward. But that is the nature of polity debates, isn't it?

I don't see how the BOO will ever make us any more missional than the Great Commission, which is a whole lot shorter.

They just took a 10 minute break, so I will take advantage of it to get in my jammies, avail myself of a glass of restorative vino, and offer a quick prayer for the work that remains before the group before returning to the virtual PresbyFest.

With a two hour time difference between California and Texas, it isn't likely I will make it through the evening session. But one does what one can!

UPDATE: Now I'm watching my own pastor, Dave Peterson (MDPC, Houston) speak to the GA about the Hearts and Hands Campaign. Go Dave!

Wednesday GA Round-Up

The General Assembly took the following actions yesterday:

Overture to Provide Habilitative Services for Children in the Pension Plan: Presbytery of New Covenant co-sponsored this overture which was initiated by the presbytery of Nebraska. The overture was approved. Here's the full story from the PNS.

Christian/ Muslim Relations: The General Assembly approved with amendments a resolution “On Calling for Tolerance and Peaceful Relations Between the Christian and Muslim Communities.” The most significant amendment involved removing a statement that Christians and Muslims worship the same God. There was extensive discussion on this item. PNS story is here.

Sexuality Curriculum: The GA approved, with comment, the overture to produce an "adolescent development curriculum", including human sexuality. Debate centered on the proposed human sexuality curriculum, and amendments that were offered which would have included specific instructions to the prospective curriculum writers were defeated. PNS story is here--scroll down because this article summarizes several other actions of the GA as well.

GA Committee Reports

Here's a round-up of actions taken by GA committees in the past couple of days, as reported by the Presbyterian News Service (cross posted with the GA Newsblog):

New Covenant Overture Approved: By a 67-4 margin, the Social Justice Issues committee voted to approve the PNC overture to urge Congress and the President not to saddle future generations with any more debt. The overture asks the GA to “declare that federal government practices and policies that create ever-increasing debt and unfunded or underfunded obligations for future generations of Americans are a grave moral concern as well as a clear danger to the republic” and calls upon public leaders “to have the courage to address this economic and moral crisis while there is still time.”

Revision of the Authoritative Interpretation Regarding "Scrupling" Ordination Standards: The General Assembly Committee on Church Orders and Ministry has voted to recommend that the 218th General Assembly adopt a supplementary authoritative interpretation of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) constitution that applies the historical practice of “scrupling” — the declaration of conscientious objection by candidates for ordination coupled with discernment by the ordaining body whether the declared objection is disqualifying — equally to all ordination standards of the denomination. See the full story here.

Fidelity and Chastity: The GA Committee on Church Orders and Ministry voted to recommend the deletion of 6.0106b of the Book of Order. Here's the link to the story.

Definition of Marriage: The GA Committee on Church Polity rejected an overture from the Baltimore Presbytery to define marriage as between "two people". Read the full report here.

Form of Government Task Force: The FOG report will be revised by an expanded task force, which will be instructed to take the comments received so far into consideration in making its revisions. Then the revised FOG will go to presbyteries for a period of discussion and consideration. PNC formed its own study group this year which produced a very thorough analysis of the present FOG proposal, which was distributed at the last presbytery meeting. Go here for the full story from the GA.

Calvin Bobbleheads

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. It's a John Calvin bobblehead doll. Apparently they are being sold at PresbyFest in San Jose (a/k/a General Assembly). I SO want one for the dashboard of my car. Wouldn't that be cool? Much better than a plastic Jesus. Won't one of our New Covenanters bring one back for me? Please?

(Photo by Joseph Williams of GA News)

GA Blogging Week

This week QG will be pre-occupied as editor of Presbytery of New Covenant's General Assembly Newsblog, so blogging here at QG may be light on non-existent. Fellow PresbyPolityGeeks, check out the GANewsblog.

Congratulations to fellow PresbyBlogger Rev. Bruce Reyes-Chow on his election as Moderator of the PCUSA for the next two years.

The most important election for the denomination comes at the end of the assembly when the new Stated Clerk will be elected. Rev. Winfield ("Casey") Jones, of New Covenant Presbytery, is one of the candidates for this post. Our presbytery commended him to the commissioners for their consideration. (Full Disclosure: Casey is a friend and colleague and I serve on his advisory committee.)

Rev. Debbie Cenko placed his name in nomination at the GA on Sunday evening (see photo, courtesy of PNC's Stated Clerk, Rev. Diane Prevary). I'll be following this election very carefully. The rules of the election are very restrictive, and frankly favor the choice of the Nominating Committee. However, in deference to them, I will just state for the record that if Casey Jones became our next Stated Clerk, I would be profoundly encouraged about the future of the PCUSA.

Book Review: Under The Banner of Heaven

This is another one of the books my brother recently recommended to me. Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer is an investigative report about the shadowy obscure world of Mormon fundamentalism as practiced in remote areas of the mountain West.

Taking a particularly horrific double murder in one of these communities as the central theme of the book, Krakauer skillfully weaves in a well-researched history of the Mormon church and analysis of the modern-day schismatics who cling to the polygamist practices that the LDS renounced more than a century ago.

The expansion of one of these sects into Texas in the last few years as the Yearning for Zion ranch was established in west Texas resulted in the recent raid on the ranch and the removal of the minor children there after child protection authorities received a phone call allegedly from one of the minor girls saying she was being abused. The caller turned out to be bogus, but the concerns about the treatment of the children remained and the state of Texas is still involved in the case although some of the children have been returned to their parents. As a former prosecutor of child abuse cases, I had followed this story with a lot of interest and had many questions about how these sects developed and why they were allowed to continue their polygamist practices with regard to underage girls.

Under the Banner of Heaven gives a thorough background for those interested in trying to understand the origin and appeal of these fundamentalist Mormon sects and to answer the question of why authorities in the western states tend to leave them alone. I recommend it if you are interested in the subject.

Set Your Bookmarks for GA

As General Assembly is approaching, PresbyPolityGeeks may want to check out the list of websites I posted on the PNC GA Newsblog.

Friends, set your bookmarks and let's get to blogging!

2008 GA Theme Song

~with apologies to Dionne Warwick~

Can you pray your way to San Jose?
Two years passed since the last GA
That’s when the PUP came out to play
Who will moderate the GA in San Jose
Shoemaker, Teng, Mazza or Reyes-Chow?
GA could bring understanding, brotherhood or
Just another PresbyRow
Newbie commissioners just come and go
But the Stated Clerk stays on the roster
Will it be Tarbell, Jones, Parsons or Koster?
At the end of the week--they’ll vote on the Clerk
And then go home and tell the folks about the days they spent at GA.
Wo oh oh oh
And wonder how they got to San Jose
Wo oh oh oh
Will you pray their way to San Jose?

Father of the Year

From time to time I have referred to our good friend Dr. O and his family. Dr. O has long been an inspiration to the entire extended QG family and we were all thrilled to see him profiled for Father's Day in a local magazine.

We first met Dr. O more than 20 years ago at church. Doc is one of Dr. O's protege's and he came up to NYC for the big wedding last weekend along with the rest of the gang from Houston.

Dr. O's daughters Valerie and Jessica were Portia and Babs' good friends growing up--Valerie sang at Portia's wedding and Jessica was a reader at the service.

A book would be needed to do justice to the subject of Dr. O's life, though. (Maybe someday I will write it.) The article is pretty good--as far as it goes. You can read it here, click on the 8th photo on the far left sidebar to get the first page of the article.

By the way, Dr. O is a Presbyterian elder. He is a loyal Presbyterian because of the missionaries to Nigeria who ran the schools that educated him, and the Presbyterian church in Columbia, SC that sponsored him as an undergraduate and medical student. Sometimes we do things really really right!

Anyone who is interested in the missional church would do well to emulate Dr. O. He is a blessing to his family, his friends, his church, his community and the world.

Beatrice Blogs: Port Alto Goes To The Dogs

WOOF! This is a photo Mom took of me at Port Alto a few weeks ago. I'm sitting on her lap on the front porch overlooking the bay at Port Alto.

I've been wondering when I would get to go back and she says we're going tomorrow. Must be a reward for bunking at the Animal Inn with Olivia. She snores, you know.

But she doesn't snore as badly as Duchess, SIL's bulldog, who will probably be down there with her. Plus my cousins Dolley and James could be there with Mom's niece, Aunt Sissy, and her daughters.

Port Alto=Freedom from Invisible Fences, leashes, and Real Fences at home. A dog can run around the yards, down the pier and if she's lucky, get invited for a ride on a boat (with a doggie life vest, of course). FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM!

I'm thinking us dogs can take over! We can take on those big dogs across the way if we stick together. A couple of chesty growls from old Duchess would make anyone turn tail and run. Then we can get everyone up as soon as the sun comes up with our own BarkFest! Heh-Heh. That would be fun! Then we can run in circles, sniff up a storm, and have naps until lunch.

Duchess will have to eat the puppy food Mom keeps for me and Olivia down there unless she brings her own. What an embarrassment! All the Big Dog Food in the world won't help her if I decide to run around her in circles and then scoot between her legs and make her fall down. Hah! Just kidding. Sorta.

James and Dolley are Dachsies like me. Last time we were down there I met another Dachsie who lives down the street. That's four dachsies, one bulldog. Dachshunds Rule! Bulldogs Drool!

Uh-oh, I hear Mom coming. TTFN.

Beatrice

The Hermeneutics Quiz

Here's an interesting quiz that assesses how you interpret the Bible. I scored a 50, which is conservative, but almost moderate. The "conservative" range is 20 to 52.

Hmm. I would have scored myself as conservatively moderate (in the 52 to 60 range), rather than progressively conservative. But for an internet quiz, that's not too bad a result.

Hat tip: Presbyweb.

Dancing the Cotton-Eyed Joe in NYC

We're back from Queenie and Doc's wedding in New York. ( Aside for new readers: Doc is my nephew and Queenie is Portia's college roommate who met Doc almost 2 years ago when she came to Texas to be a bridesmaid in Portia and DK's wedding.)

Here's a quick wrap up of an unforgettable weekend:

• The QG family became fast fans of Jet Blue after our first round trip flight on that airline. It flies out of the airport closest to our home in the Houston area and had beaucoups of leg room. It's the first time El Jefe and I can ever remember actually being comfortable for three plus hours in a plane.
• When we arrived, the weather was perfect. Then a big heat-wave hit the area and it was actually cooler back home. The locals joked we brought the Texas summer with us. Sorry!
• Queenie's family are part of the local Italian-Croatian community and could not have been more hospitable and friendly to everyone.
• The reception was so awesome--at a beautiful club on Long Island Sound with panoramic views of the ocean.
• Music at the reception was a country-western/Croatian mix. The Texans taught the Croatians to dance the Cotton-Eyed Joe! My feet still hurt.

And now for the Ave Maria review: it went very well indeed. Let me just say that one of the groomsmen told me afterwards that I "really nailed it" and many in Queenie's family went out of their way to tell me how much it meant to them. I'm sure your thoughts and prayers helped me a lot, too!

I do have a question about the ceremony that some of you may be able to answer. The officiant was a "deacon" and not a priest of the Catholic church. I'm sure the church has given him the power to conduct weddings, but I'm not familiar with this position in the Catholic tradition--it is clearly different from a Presbyterian deacon! Queenie and her family are Catholic and members of the church where the wedding was held, but Doc has not become a Catholic. Mass was not celebrated at the service, either, so a priest was not needed for that.

What authority does a deacon have in the Catholic church? Or can it vary by diocese?

Getting To Know God

This summer I'm participating in a group study of Knowing God by J. I. Packer at church. Members of the group will be leaders for the upcoming BSD study of the same name. The study is not a study of this book, but a theme Bible study: the idea is that the book will be a good preparation and supplement for the leaders.

Today is the first meeting, so I finished reading the first two chapters and answering the questions in the study guide. It is often said that the best way to learn about the Bible is to actually READ the Bible itself and not what other people write about what the Bible says. (What a concept!) The goal of this study is to help you go beyond reading about God -- to develop a relationship and understanding of who He is through prayer and meditation.

I'm looking forward to what I hope will be a real growth experience.

"Idol" For Classical Music Fans

Last night while playing with my remote control I stumbled across Bathroom Divas.

There are several short videos from the show on You Tube, so here is one of them for those of you interested in checking it out.

Divas is a reality show in which aspiring opera singers go to an "opera boot camp" and then are judged on how much they have improved week to week. The prize is the chance to sing with the Toronto Symphony Orchestra. So I can't call it the Classical American Idol because it is a Canadian production (although apparently by the American reality network Bravo which brings us Project Runway and Top Chef). It's on a network called Ovation, which I don't remember seeing before.

Bathroom Divas has the usual drawbacks of a reality show, although I thought the episode I saw had much less feigned drama than Top Chef and Project Runway. The remarks of the vocal coaches were fascinating to me as an avid amateur classical singer myself. I got interested in it because one of the young women in the competition chose to learn the incredibly difficult aria of the Queen of the Night from Mozart's Magic Flute. What a gutsy move! And she did a creditable job and moved on to the next round.

Playing around with the You Tube videos, I learned that the first season winner was the guy who was a country-western singer! Do you love it?

Classical music fans, check it out!

W Week

This week is being brought to me by the letter W.

Wedding preparations for Doc and Queenie are the focus of the week as we all prepare to go to NYC for their nuptials next weekend.

Worry about whether or not I have spent sufficient time learning to sing the Ave Maria for the service is starting to set in. Also the fact that I don't have a copy of "On Eagles Wings" to take with me is making me antsy. Note to self: take care of that tomorrow.

Wonder about whether Portia's bridesmaid dress, El Jefe's tux and my formal for the service and reception will be less wrinkled if packed in a hanging bag or a suitcase is pre-occupying my mind.

W, my brother, was released from the hospital and is at home following serious spinal fusion surgery and faces a lengthy recovery. Also one of Dutch's (El Jefe's elderly father) caregivers was diagnosed with a return of leukemia. Prayers appreciated!

Will Beatrice and Olivia (Portia and DK's dog) enjoy their stay at the Animal Inn while we're all away? Gretel always did, but this will be their first time not to stay with a family member. They will get to stay in the same "suite", though.

Where is my "to-do" list? There's a lot on it for today since I've got meetings later this week--gotta go!